Punishment and Forgiveness
by Lioncourt619
Summary: Post-Avengers AU; what if Phil Coulson had a daughter who worked for S.H.I.E.L.D.; what if she wanted to watch her father's killer be brought to justice? Can Abby handle Asgardian justice? Will her feelings for Loki change when she see how he's treated and punished? Can Loki find redemption? Indefinitely Suspended.
1. Going to Asgard

**Disclaimer: I own nothing associated with Marvel or any of the songs/shows etc I mention in the story. I do this for fun, I make no money from it.**

**A/N: Okay, so, I was pondering my OTHER Loki story when this idea kinda hit me like lightning. In Avengers, Rogers asks Stark if Coulson was married and of course Stark answers no, because he wasn't; but the idea came to me that it didn't mean that Phil didn't have family and so Abigail Larsen was born in my mind. The story has kind of spiralled out of control from there. Portions of Loki's punishment are actually taken from Norse myth and the other is just well, something I thought would make sense. This story is rated M for a reason there are adult themes and talk of things that may be hard to read because I know they were hard as hell to write.**

**~A~A~A~A~A~A~A~**

I walked into the room to hear everyone arguing; most of the "Avengers" didn't think it was right to hand over the Tesseract and Loki to the Asgardians, but I knew there was no way that our jails could hold him. Fury looked like he was ready to kill someone.

"ENOUGH!" he hollered and everyone shut up, "The decision has been made, Thor will take Loki and the Tesseract back to Asgard, there's no use arguing about it."

"Sir?" I questioned and everyone looked over at me.

"Yes Agent Larsen?"

I was trembling, I was scared he'd say no, "Sir, I'd like to request permission to accompany Thor to Asgard, to oversee the punishment of the war criminal and murderer Loki." My voice shook a little on the word murderer.

"Agent Larsen, that very well could be a one-way trip; you go to Asgard, there might not be a way to bring you back."

"Please Sir," I took a deep breath and felt a tear run down my cheek, "I owe it to Phi—my father."

Everyone in the room froze at my words, only Fury had known but the cat was out of the bag now.

"Father?" Stark looked confused, "Did you just say father? I thought Coulson wasn't married."

"He wasn't." I took a deep breath, "it was a long time ago and families are complicated, you should know that Stark."

"Very true, carry on."

Fury was looking at me, his good eye pained. "Thor, do you think the Tesseract would have enough power to transport all three of you?"

"Certainly." He looked from the director to me, "But Abigail, I must warn you, Asgardian justice may not be what you're familiar with here on Earth."

"I don't care." I squared my shoulder, "That man killed my father; I want to know he pays for what he did."

"Very well." Thor nodded, "I will take her to Asgard and along with the All-Father we will find a way to send her back to you once Loki's punishment is complete."

~A~A~A~A~A~A~

A couple days later we were in a fairly open area of Central Park, getting ready to leave for Asgard. I had a rucksack on my back and I wore black jeans, a black shirt, black leather jacket and my combat boots; I was mourning my father, but I wanted to be functional as well. Thor had fashioned a set of Asgardian restraints and he led the cuffed and gagged god of mischief to where the rest of the Avengers had assembled. I stood next to Rogers, who still wasn't one hundred percent happy that I was going with them. I watched Dr. Selvig bring the Tesseract out of its container and place it in the tube that would allow us to travel to Asgard.

I said good bye to my friends, knowing that I might not be seeing them for a while and then walked to stand beside Thor.

"You are sure about this?" he asked, taking the Tesseract from the S.H.I.E.L.D. agent that had been holding it.

"Yes."

"Very well."

Thor lifted the container and Loki looked like he was sulking as he took hold of the other end. I wrapped my hand around Thor's and together we turned the mechanism and I heard a click and then my vision went blue. Faster than seemed possible we were standing on what looked like it had once been a bridge or walkway, it was shattered on the end and a large man with dark skin and orange eyes stared at us.

"Welcome to Asgard." He said, looking to me. "Thor, your father waits for you in the hall."

"Thank you Heimdall." He grabbed Loki's arm and placed himself between myself and his brother.

The walk was long, but it gave me time to think and to take in the splendor of Asgard. The city looked like it was made of gold and gleamed in the light of a sun that seemed a bit closer than Earth's but did not make the realm any hotter for it. When we entered the hall I nearly fell over. There were thousands of people there; many began to murmur angrily and with confusion when we entered. As we walked up the aisle I saw the massive dais and tried to take in everything. Three men stood the right and they did not look happy. Two women stood on the other side and it clicked that the dark haired woman must be Sif, so the men were the "Warriors Three" who had assisted Thor during the New Mexico incident. The other woman was older, but extremely regal and it dawned on me that I was looking at Frigga, Thor and Loki's mother. This left only one person, as we reached the bottom of the stairs I saw Odin Allfather for the first time and was overcome. He was older, he looked old enough to be my grandfather, but the power he radiated was intimidating. Thor dropped respectfully to his knees, pulling Loki down with him and I followed suit, keeping my eyes on the floor.

"Rise." Odin's voice was soft, but easily heard in the large room. "Thor, I am pleased that you have returned and that you bring your brother with you. I am confused however as to whom this woman is."

"Father, this is Agent Abigail Larsen; she is of S.H.I.E.L.D. and a great warrior. She is one of many that helped fight the Chitauri and save Earth." Thor introduced me and I found myself bowing to Odin in respect of his position.

"And why are you here Abigail Larsen?" Odin addressed me and I forced myself to meet his blue eye.

"Loki murdered my father during his quest to conquer Earth, the realm you call Midgard, I want to witness his punishment." I said my voice clear and steadier than I thought it would be.

"And Thor has explained that Asgardian justice may be different than you are used to?" Odin watched me with great interest.

"Yes All-Father, Thor made me aware of that." I took a deep breath, "On Midgard, when someone has been murdered, the victim's family is allowed to be present during the trial and sometimes, during the punishment; I know your system might be different, but I respectfully request to bear witness to the punishment or sentencing of my father's killer."

Thor placed his hand on my shoulder and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

"You are well spoken and respectful." Odin nodded, "I will grant your request, provided you swear not to interfere with the punishment."

"I so swear." I said and Odin nodded.

He looked at Thor, "is there a witness to prove that Loki is indeed responsible for her father's death?"

"Yes Father," Thor's expression was pained, "I was there when Loki stabbed Phil Coulson, I have no doubt that he died of his injuries."

"He did." A single tear trailed down my cheek, "Director Fury and I found him; he died in front of us."

"So heard." Odin sighed, he seemed pained by what he had to do, "Loki Odinson, you have attempted to conquer a peaceful realm, one under the protection of both your brother and your king; you caused the deaths of many innocent people and directly killed at least one person." Odin's voice was tight with emotion, "You are sentenced to one hundred lashes," I saw Frigga gasp and her eyes flutter closed, "AND because your silver tongue has helped you in your schemes, your mouth will be sewn shut."

I nearly vomited when I heard that, "With respect All-Father, I have a question."

"Certainly, you are not aware of our punishments; I will allow your question."

"How long?" I asked, "How long will his mouth remain sewn shut?"

Odin seemed impressed by my question, "that my dear, is up to you."

I would have fallen to my knees had Thor not caught my arm. "Pa—pardon me All-Father?"

"The length of punishment, for certain crimes, is determined by the family of the victim." Odin watched me as I realized what I had gotten myself into.

"May I ask another question?"

Odin nodded.

"How will he eat?"

"He will not." Odin answered, "Nor will he drink until his punishment is complete."

The full weight of what I had to do settled on to my shoulders and I nearly fell again. I looked around Thor, Loki was looking at the floor of the room, but I could see fear in his eyes. He slowly turned his face to look at me and the full force of his emotions hit me; which was the main problem with being an empath. Loki was terrified I would leave him so long that he would either die or never be able to recover from his punishment.

I turned to Thor, "How long can an Asgardian to without food or water?" I asked, "I know you're really long lived but it's obvious you have to eat."

Thor nodded, "I believe, around three weeks." He whispered, "However, Loki is at least half Jotun, I don't know if that would affect how long he could survive."

I nodded, remembering the myths my mother and grandmother used to read me. I turned to face Odin again.

"All-Father, I have made my decision." I said.

"Very well." Odin was looking grim as I forced myself to stay strong.

"I want justice for my father, but I know he would not wish me to become a killer myself, therefore, I request that Loki's punishment be no longer than two and a half weeks."

There was some murmuring through the hall as my request made its way from person to person. The Warriors Three and Sif seemed shocked and a bit angry but there was something akin to gratitude in Frigga's eyes. I nodded shallowly to the queen and she gave me a wan smile.

"So be it." Odin banged his staff on the floor and the boom silenced the room, "Guards, take Loki to the courtyard and prepare him for the first part of his punishment."


	2. One Hundred Lashes

**A/N: Okay, the end of this chapter includes the first part of Loki's punishment, tried to not be too graphic but I will put lines around the part that might be hard to read if you wanna skip over it. Yes, Abigail is an Empath, NO she is not a Mutant, her lineage and how she got her gifts will be explained in later chapters. Please remember reviews are Mus food, the more she gets the more she writes! Hope you're all enjoying so far!**

**Yanth Esrith: Yeah, that was one reason I had Abigail ask Thor how long Asgardians could go and she asked for less time, however, it is something I'm aware of, mostly because of well...stuff that happens in this chapter that might affect how long Loki will be okay without water/food etc.**

**~A~A~A~A~A~**

I stood next to Thor as he watched his brother being led away and felt his despair; I placed my hand on his arm and the blond god turned to look at me.

"He brought this on himself Thor; he would have known there would be consequences."

Odin was walking down the stairs and I felt myself trembling a bit when he got to the bottom and stood before us. He placed a fatherly hand on Thor's shoulder and then turned to me with an odd kind of affection in his eye.

"You are a fair and honourable woman Abigail Larsen." He said and I felt genuine respect from the elder god. "There are many who would be too consumed with pain and need for revenge to be as merciful as you were."

"With respect, it had nothing to do with mercy." I said, "I just know my father, he wouldn't want me to become a murderer. I've killed in self-defence but that is different than condemning someone to death or killing them for no reason."

Odin nodded, "it may not be mercy for Loki, but you showed great mercy for his family and for yours."

My eyes drifted to Frigga, who was walking towards us and I understood what Odin meant. I had spared the life of her son even though he had taken my father's life. Frigga, who the Norse worshiped as Goddess of Marriage, stood before me and took my hands in her own, there were tears in her eyes and I felt her pain as if it were my own.

"My queen." I bowed my head to her.

"You are from those that worshiped us, aren't you?" she asked her voice soft and almost melodic.

"Yes my queen." I answered, watching her blue eyes. "I was raised with the stories of how your people saved mine from the Frost Giants; my mother's people swore that they could trace our lineage back to a time when yours helped us."

"You are a good soul Abigail." She smiled a little sadly, "I am sorry for your loss."

"Thank you." I took a deep breath, "Phil Coulson was a great man and a wonderful father."

"You do not share his name, yet it is obvious you are not married." Frigga looked a bit confused.

"My mother and my father were not married; when I was born my mother was mad at Phil, so she um, she gave me her last name as revenge." I answered honestly, "I didn't know Phil until was in high school. We had just started to get to know each other, really know each other."

"I am sure he would be proud of how you handled yourself today." She smiled at me and then shivered when a guard came back and said that Loki was ready.

~A~A~A~A~A~

Odin and Frigga led the way, Thor just behind them and I was just behind Thor. Sif and the Warriors Three walked behind me. The courtyard was beautiful, or would have been if it was not currently set up as a place of punishment. As we walked in I could see the Y shaped pole that Loki was attached to, his face was clearly visible and his arms were stretched over his head and apart. He was shirtless and I could just see a bit of his pale, smooth skin as we walked closer. He still wore the gag and the fear radiating off him nearly knocked me to my knees. I could see the sheen of tears in his eyes and as we walked by his green eyes met mine again. Odin and Frigga were already past the post and sitting in two chairs that had been set up. Thor was standing next to his mother but I could not make myself move away from Loki's gaze. I stepped closer to him, watching as his eyes never left mine as I moved stand in front of him.

From this angle I could see the muscles in his arms trembling from being stretched so tight and far apart; I hated that I felt sorry for him. I was close enough to touch him and no one seemed to notice that I was so close to him. My hand was trembling I reached out and ran my hand along his cheek, his eyes slid shut and a single tear leaked out his eye and into the path of my finger. I brushed it away which made his eyes snap open and he looked at me with surprise.

"I'm not heartless Loki." I whispered, "I take no pleasure in the pain you're going to endure, but every action must have a consequence."

I turned and walked away from him; a chair had been set up for me to sit in next to Thor and as I sat I felt his hand on my shoulder.

"What did you say to my brother?" he asked.

"That's private." I answered, watching the entrance to the courtyard as a large man in a black mask and carrying a large single-tailed whip started walking towards Loki.

A rattle and a muffled scream brought my attention back to the man on the pole. Loki was trashing around like he was terrified and I could see blood starting to trickle down his arms as he fought to get free. The man walking forward had mean eyes, it was obvious he enjoyed his role and he gave an evil chuckle that sent chills down my spine. I looked to the grim face of Odin as he stood up.

"Enough Loki!" he bellowed and prince stopped trashing so much, but his slender form still trembled. "You knew there were consequences to your actions, accept them gracefully." Odin sighed, "Remove the gag."

The large man, whom Thor told me was known simply as "The Punisher", walked up to Loki, completely eclipsing the smaller man and I could hear a click as the gag was removed. I was feeling sick to my stomach as the man walked back and uncoiled the whip.

"All-Father." I drew Odin's attention, "I am not trying to interfere, but I have a request."

"Yes?" Odin seemed confused.

"I want to see his face." I said, unsure I could take seeing the whip actually land on his back. "May I watch from the other side?"

"Take someone to accompany you, in case it becomes too much, and yes, you may." I looked at Thor, but knew he needed to be there for his mother.

"Sif, may I request the honour of you company?" I addressed the Warrioress and Fandral seemed a bit disappointed.

"Certainly my lady," the raven-haired woman walked to my side and we walked back to where I'd been standing originally.

I was less than two feet from Loki and I could see the abject terror in his eyes; I reached out with my hand again and rested my fingertips against his cheek. His eyes met mine and the shame of having a mortal witness his weakness nearly overrode his fear.

"Don't take your eyes off me." I whispered to the trembling god, "Watch me, watch the daughter of the man you murdered."

"Begin."

I would always be surprised at how so soft a voice could travel so clearly. I heard a snap as The Punisher warmed the whip up and Loki flinched. I took a step closer and settled my palm against his cheek. I knew that Sif was the only one that could see me and she didn't seem willing to interfere. I watched the shame, fear and confusion war in Loki's eyes.

"I want to see you scream." I whispered forcing all emotion from my voice, "I want to see what this does to you mentally, emotionally, I want to see it so intimately that you'll never forget I was here when you broke."

* * *

I took two steps back as I heard the first whistle of whip get closer. I heard the crack as it found its mark and saw Loki bite his lip to keep from screaming as his back arched in pain. The second blow seemed to knock some of the wind from his lungs and a pained groan was forced from his lips. By the tenth lash Loki screamed for the first time. I stood next to Sif and I was trembling; I could feel every emotion from Loki as he was whipped; his pride would not allow him to beg, not yet. After lash thirty-five tears were streaming down Loki's cheeks and dripping to the ground beneath him. His legs gave out at lash sixty and I could see his hands trying to support the weight of his body. I was shaking so violently by lash eighty that I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to stand much longer. The last twenty lashes seemed to take forever but finally they were over and Loki's head sagged against his chest. His body was still trembling, but I had a feeling it was from shock now.

* * *

On shaking legs I walked towards the beaten god and gently touched his cheek again. His skin was wet with sweat and tears, and I was so close I could smell the blood that was running down his arms and probably his back as well. His eyes flickered at my touch and slowly opened; I gasped, he was well and truly broken.

"I'm sorry." I whispered in his ear and felt his shudder.

"Release him." Odin's voice was shaking.

Sif and I slowly walked around the pole as the two guards reached up and unlocked Loki's bloody wrists; the god fell to his knees and I stood in shock when I saw his ruined back. One hundred lashes with a single tail whip like the one The Punisher was now cleaning should have killed him.

To this day I don't know what compelled my next actions, but I was at Loki's side and cradling his head in my lap before I really realized what I had done. I slowly wiped his tears with the edge of my shirt and watched as his eyes tried to stay open.

"Why?" he whispered.

"I don't know."


	3. Compassion

**A/N: Okay, that last chapter sucked to write. So Abigail's sudden change in attitude actually isn't so sudden, but that will all be discussed in time. Thor will try to explain to Sif who and what his friend is. But the way she feels is a surprise to even Abigail herself and will not come without some hefty baggage that will need to be dealt with...hope you're still enjoying!**

**~A~A~A~A~A~A~**

The guards didn't seem to know what to do as I held Loki, tears starting to leak from my own eyes as I tried to process the pain he was in. I didn't know how long he would be given before the second half of his punishment was carried out, but I felt compelled to show him small measure of kindness before that happened.

"Loki, look at me." I whispered, watching Thor and Odin walking closer. "I forgive you."

Loki's eyes slid shut as he turned his face away from mine, hiding his face in my stomach. I could feel hot tears soaking through my shirt and I ran my hand through his hair as I waited for the All-Father and his son to reach us.

"I did not know what to do my king." I could hear Sif apologizing.

"It's alright Sif, Abigail is an empath; she can feel others emotions quite deeply and as much as she mourns her father, she is unable to block the pain that Loki is currently feeling. Her gift and her kind heart compel her to help those in pain, no matter what wrong they may have done." I could hear Thor explaining what I was to his friend as Odin came to stand above us.

"All-Father," I took a deep breath, "would it interfere with your justice for me to tend Loki's back before his mouth is bound?"

Part of me, some sick, masochistic part, wished I'd had a camera to capture the look of stunned disbelief on the Asgardian king's face at my question. I could feel Loki jerk a bit in surprise and then pain when he heard what I'd asked Odin.

"No, it would not." The king said, "it needs to be done anyway, if you wish do to so, so be it."

I thanked Odin as he arranged to Loki moved somewhere where I could clean and bind his back before he would have lie down and have his mouth sewn shut. They placed him on his side on a litter and I held his hand the entire time we were walking; his grip was tight because of his pain and the men carrying the litter didn't seem to care. When we got to the room it was not a nice or comfortable one and they set him rather roughly on the first flat surface they could find and then left. I knelt at his side because the surface was pretty low to the ground. I tucked a stray lock of hair behind his ear and really looked at him. Lying there with his eyes closed, his breathing shallow and his skin paler than normal, he looked nothing like the fierce being who had led an army and had nearly destroyed New York. The bruises from Hulk's attack stood out even more in the bright light and against my better judgement I found myself feeling sorry for him. I remembered the first time I saw Loki, on the camera feed from Stuttgart and I had found him quite handsome and he did seem very charismatic, if slightly insane. The smooth timber of his voice when he'd talked to Fury had shocked me, but it made sense if he was the god of lies that he would have a pleasing voice.

"My lady, the king has sent me to help tend our prince's back." A soft voice pulled me from my examination of Loki's face.

I looked up to see a slight blonde in the door way. She carried a tray with towels and a few other things I would need. A man was behind her with a large basin of warm water.

"Come in." I said and signalled to my sides where they could put the supplies. "Thank Odin for his kindness, but this is something I must do myself."

The two looked confused but the handmaiden nodded and two left me alone again with the god. I gently stroked his cheek and his eyes opened slightly, but they were glazed with pain and shock.

"I'm going to have to roll you on your stomach." I said, trying to see if he understood me, "It's going to hurt."

"So?" his voice was raw from screaming.

I took his left hand in mine and raised it so I could see where the straps had cut into his skin. I gently picked up a cloth, dipped it in the warm water and gently started to wipe the blood from his arm. Loki kept his eyes closed but I could see tears leaking from them as I worked. When his arm was clean, I sighed and slowly rolled him on to his stomach. I tried to be as gentle as I could but he made a low whimpering noise as I did so. I moved his head so it was still turned to the side and gently played with his hair. He sighed softly as I did that and I kind of wondered for a moment why I was doing it, but decided it didn't really matter; it was soothing both the man in front of me and myself. I slowly washed and bound his second arm. As I knelt back in my original spot I noticed Loki's eyes were now open and he was watching me.

"I'm going to be a gentle as possible, but there probably isn't much I can do to make it less painful." I sighed, "I didn't mean what I said before your punishment started; I didn't want to watch you scream, it nearly broke my heart when you did, but I didn't think I could handle watching the whip tear into your skin and not interfere." I was stunned by my honesty and Loki apparently was too.

I took a clean rag and dipped it into the water; I started with cleaning the sweat and tears from his face and neck, and then slowly worked at the blood on his sides. I tried to keep my touch as gentle as possible while still being able to get the blood off his skin. I could see him clenching his teeth and fists as I touched the first patch of torn skin and the tears started.

I had to stop a few times to clear my eyes and compose myself but finally, Loki's back was cleaned and bound. I took his hand, still in a white-knuckle grip and rubbed gently until he uncurled it and I could slip my hand into his. Watching the pain in his eyes I thought of a song from my favourite musical SMASH and for some reason started singing to him.

"Something second-hand broken, still can make a pretty sound, even if it doesn't have a place to live. Oh the words were left unspoken when my mama came around, but that second hand white baby grand, still had something beautiful left to give." I saw his eyes widen at the words so I kept singing, "For many years the music had to roam, until we found we found a way to find a home. So now I wake up every day and see her standing there, just waiting for a partner to compose. And I wish my mama still could hear that sound beyond compare, I'll play her song till everybody knows that something second hand and broken, still can make a pretty sound; don't we all deserve a family room to live? Oh the words can't stay unspoken until everyone has found, their second hand white baby grand, that still has something beautiful left to give." I decided on a whim to change the last line, "you still have something beautiful to give." I stroked his cheek gently, "you really do Loki, you just need to figure out what it is."

The pain in his emerald eyes broke my heart. He squeezed my hand gently and I squeezed back. I decided then and there that I would ask Odin if I could stay with Loki while he was silenced, he would need someone to tend his back, make sure it didn't get infected, if Asgardians could even get infections, and also to make sure that the scaring wouldn't be too bad.

I don't know how long we sat in the chamber once I had finished tending to his back but I sang bits and pieces of songs to him as I ran my fingers through his hair. I don't know why I cared for him now, but I hated seeing anyone so low and broken. The sound of footsteps stopped my movements and I felt Loki tense.

"I won't leave you." I whispered in his ear, "I'll be here the whole time."

He clung to my hand, his eyes so desperately scared that I almost wanted to beg Odin to reverse this part of the punishment. Odin and Thor entered the room, both were pained but resigned about what was to come. They looked at the two of us, at Loki's hand clinging to mine and I slowly stood, keeping my hand in his.

"Where is the next punishment to happen?" I asked, feeling his tighten his grip a bit.

"Here." Odin said, "We will need to place him on his back."

I almost screamed that that would leave Loki in unbearable agony during the procedure; that he would have to resist the urge to scream as he lay there, but then realized they probably wouldn't numb his lips so he would be in agony anyway. I squeezed hard on his hand and looked to Thor.

"Help me move him, we'll be gentler than anyone else." I said moving so I was at Loki's head and slipping my hands under his shoulders.

Thor grasped his brother's feet and we slowly rolled him first to his side and then to his back. The scream that echoed through the room haunted me for months after. I dropped to my knees and pressed my forehead to Loki's as the mental and emotional anguish he was feeling overwhelmed me.

"Jeg beklager for smerte, vil jeg ikke la deg." I whispered in Norwegian, as I often did when things got too much. (I am sorry for your pain, I will not leave you.)

Loki stopped screaming but his chest was still heaving as he tried to cope with the pain of laying on fresh wounds. I moved to his side and took his hand, which immediately tighten around my own as he looked at me in agony. I was kneeling by his side when three men walked in. Two were large and burly and the third was slightly more slender. The slender man held a tray, on which I saw a needle and thread lying. I closed my eyes and wanted to scream. My mother always told me I was too kind hearted, but she didn't know about my gifts; my grandmother had suspected something and told me to never be ashamed of who I was. It took me a few seconds to realize why the other men were there; they were in the room to hold Loki down if he thrashed or tried to escape.

"It is time." Odin's voice fell through the room like an axe and I'm pretty sure I whimpered.


	4. Silenced

**A/N: So, now we're really into the hurt/comfort part of the story. Abigail is still confused as to her need to comfort Loki, even though he's the one that killed Phil, we'll find out more about Abigail and her relationship with Phil soon, but for now, on with Loki's punishment. And yes, this chapter sucked to write too!**

**~A~A~A~A~A~A~A~**

I could see Loki's eyes flicking around the room, trying to find a way out. I squeezed his hand and forced him to look at me. He was hyperventilating and looked on the verge of a panic attack. I brought his hand to my lips and pressed a soft kiss to his knuckles.

"Please Loki, if you fight they'll hold you down and that will make your back hurt even more." I whispered the words, but he seemed to hear them and understand them through his pain.

I watched him slowly calm down and rubbed my thumb along the backs of his knuckles. I looked at Odin and Thor and decided to make my move now instead of later.

"All-father?" I asked, bringing his attention to me, "A moment to ask a favour before we continue?"

Odin didn't seem to know if he should be relieved they could wait or frustrated that it wasn't over with already.

"A quick moment." He agreed.

"Once this is done, Loki will need supervision correct?" I asked, watching the two Asgardian royals, "He will need someone to watch him, make sure he does not harm himself and that the wounds on his back do not fester or scar too horribly?"

Odin nodded, "this is true."

"I ask that I be allowed stay, at least until the stitches are removed from his mouth, to be that person to tend to his back, to make sure that he does not harm himself." I took a breath, "I took some courses in healing on Midgard, before and after joining S.H.I.E.L.D. I also think that Loki could also learn what true forgiveness is, that he could, perhaps, learn to understand Midgard and its people if you let me stay."

Odin seemed to consider this and I hoped that he would allow me to stay.

"You came here wanting to see the punishment of the man who killed your father; are you saying that you now forgive him?" Odin asked, he seemed sceptical.

"Yes All-Father, I have forgiven Loki." I said and the god in question squeezed my hand, "Forgiveness isn't done solely for the one to whom it is given, often it does much for the one giving it."

Odin nodded, "Thor has told me of your gifts Abigail, I think perhaps, if anyone were to know if Loki were unwell it would be you." He seemed to still be deep in thought, "I will allow you to stay, provided you are willing to have an Asgardian with you at all times. As I'm sure you are aware, we can be much stronger than your people and I would not wish to see you hurt."

"I will accept, if I may request that they be outside whatever room we are staying in and I will call for them if I need them." I said, sticking up for myself, I didn't want to be watched constantly.

"Agreed."

"Allfather, will you ask those to…gentlemen…to leave, Loki will behave himself, I promise." I said, watching Loki's eyes as he saw the men who were there to restrain him.

"How can you be sure?" Odin asked; he seemed confused.

"Because, I'll be here." I said, watching Loki's eyes, "I'll stay by his shoulder and Thor can stand by his feet, if need be we can restrain him. I'm a lot stronger than I look."

Odin seemed to consider this a moment and then asked the two men to wait outside, that he would call for them in needed. Loki calmed down immediately.

"Father." He spoke, his voice rough, "May I…may I speak with Abigail privately before this must be done?"

I looked the scared prince and realized there was something he needed to say and hadn't found the courage or words until now.

"Five minutes." Odin sighed and he, Thor and the surgeon left the room.

As soon as the door was closed Loki turned to me, "Please, help me sit up?"

I slid his arm around my shoulder and carefully slid my own under his. A few precious inches at a time we moved until he was sitting upright; I sat next to him, watching his eyes.

"I wanted…" he cleared his throat a bit, "I wanted to apologize."

I could not have been more surprised by his words, I could feel true regret from him and I nodded.

"I am sorry that I took someone so special to you from you." He continued, "I did not know the man I killed, I did not know that he had family and while I was in the grip of the sceptre I did not care." He seemed embarrassed that he was speaking like this, "I do not often apologize for my actions, however, your kindness towards me and your forgiveness seem to have affected me far deeper than I had thought."

I gently touched his cheek. "I accept your apology Loki. Thank you."

"No, thank you." He gave me a shy smile, "I just wanted you to know how sorry I was before I could not speak to you anymore."

"I will be here when your punishment is over." I told him, "You will get a chance to speak to me again; I'll make sure of it."

My next actions are again, nothing I can explain or make myself understand, but I leaned forward and placed a chaste kiss on Loki's cheek. I felt him tremble at the contact and wondered if perhaps he was so unused to affection that it scared him to receive it. I leaned back just enough that I would see his eyes, the expression matched the fear and confusion I was feeling from him so I raised my hand and stroke his cheekbone with my thumb.

"It will be okay."

He nodded slowly, "please do not be disgusted by my weakness if I cry or make unmanly noises while they do this."

"Never." I promised him, "you squeeze my hand if you need to, I'll be at your side the whole time."

"I feel so…fragile and weak, it is quite unbecoming of a god." He looked at me, expecting revulsion no doubt and seemed surprised that he was not finding it in my gaze.

"You have a lot to learn about Midgardian women Loki," I smiled softly to him, "I look forward to helping you learn." I gently kissed his cheek again and then figuring our time was almost up I helped him lay back down.

He whimpered, which I figured he would think was rather undignified, but I held his hand and stroked the smooth skin on his shoulder until he calmed down. The door opened and I saw Loki tense up again. Thor, Odin and the surgeon walked back into the room and Loki's grip tightened around my hand. I rubbed his knuckles with my thumbs and he calmed a bit. Thor stood at the foot of the slab where his brother was lying and I met the god's blue eyes; they were red rimmed and I could tell he was upset. I wrapped both my hands around the one of Loki's I already held and knelt down next to his shoulder. The surgeon grabbed his jaw and I forced myself to watch him push the needle through the skin.

Loki's grip became painful as he tried not to scream; I watched the tears leak from the corners of his eyes and I felt matching trails flowing down my own cheeks. It felt like hours before the surgeon was done. He stood up and left, taking the now bloody needle and string with him. I was trembling as I slowly grabbed one of the towels from the tray that was still next to me and dipped it in the water that had cooled considerably. I dabbed the blood from Loki's lips and chin, watching the shame fill his eyes.

"You are no less than you were this started." I whispered into his ear and felt him shiver. "I think no less of you for what happened."

I knew the sounds that had made while they closed his mouth had embarrassed him, but I needed him to know that it hadn't made me think less of him, which he seemed to be important to him for some reason.

"Thor, help get him to his rooms and make sure that Abigail has anything she might need to watch him for the next two and a half weeks." Odin signalled for one of the guards to help Thor and I get back to his room.

I held his hand the whole walk, feeling him squeeze occasionally if it hurt. I kept rubbing his knuckles with my thumb and he kept his eyes closed. I opened the door for the litter bearing the prince and followed them into the bedroom.

"Please place the litter on the edge of the bed." I said, trying not to be overwhelmed by the luxury of the room, "I'll get on the other side and as I roll him on to his side, if you could remove the litter, it would make things easier."

Thor and the guard nodded, setting the litter gently on the large bed; it was bigger than "king" sized but I tried not to think of what size it could possibly be called as I crawled to Loki's side. I gently placed my hands, one on his shoulder, the other on his hip and slowly turned him on to his side. I could hear his breathing speed up as I did and I knew he was trying not to make any noise in front of the guard. When he was fully on his side I grabbed one of the many pillows and placed it under his head.

"Thank you." I nodded to the guard and he left.

Thor stood staring at his little brother; he looked so torn about what to do. He sat softly in a large chair that was next to bed and just watched his brother breathe. I reached out and gently played with a stray lock of his hair.

"Loki, are you comfortable?" I asked, and he opened his eyes staring at me. "Blink once for yes or twice for no okay?"

Loki blinked twice.

"Are the pants making you uncomfortable?" I asked, looking at the bloody and crumpled leather pants he still wore.

One blink.

"Do you have anything more comfortable?" she asked.

One blink.

"Thor, do you know where Loki keeps his more comfortable pants?"

The blond nodded, "I do. I will retrieve a pair for him."

Thor stood and walked to his brother's closet; I slowly lay down next to Loki and touched his cheek. There were tears in his eyes as I stroked his cheek; I could feel the pain and shame from him and he closed his eyes.

"You don't have to hide from me Loki, I will not judge you for what you view as weakness."

I could hear Thor walking back to the bed. He stopped and I heard something touch the bed. Thor moved back to the chair and sighed.

"Loki, do you um…do Asgardians wear undergarments?"

Two blinks.

I found myself blushing as I realized that Loki was essentially going "commando". I slowly ran my hand down his arm. There was something in his eye and something in his emotions that I didn't want to name just yet, so I fooled myself into thinking it was gratitude.

"Do you want Thor to help you change?" I asked, not sure I could do it.

Two blinks.

"Loki, I don't think I'm strong enough." I whispered, seeing the pride burning brightly in his eyes.

"Brother, please." Thor's voice was soft, "I will speak of this to no one."

Loki reached up and touched my cheek, the plea in his eyes broke my heart and I placed my own hand over his.

"I can't bear causing you more pain." I almost didn't hear myself say it my throat felt so tight with emotion. "Please, let Thor help you."

Something in my words or my gaze must have touched Loki because he gave me one slow blink. I nodded and moved back from him.

"I need to relieve myself." I look at Thor and he pointed towards a door.

Without looking back I practically jumped off the bed and ran to the bathroom. The moment the door was shut I collapsed and started to sob. My father had been dead less than a week, I was in a realm wholly unknown to me except in legend, and I was taking care of my father's killer; the emotions were just too much, I sobbed until I didn't think I could breathe anymore and then I somehow managed to crawl my way to the toilet where I promptly threw up.


	5. Confusion

I'm honestly not sure how long I was in the bathroom before I heard Thor pounding on the door. I was sitting with my back against the side of the rather large bathtub, trembling but I couldn't make myself move, I was just too overwhelmed. I could feel the worry from Thor and wished I'd worked harder on my shielding techniques, not that they ever worked even when I wasn't emotional.

"Abigail, if you do not let me know you are okay, I will come in." Thor's voice seemed booming even in the expansive and luxurious bathroom.

"I'm not." I whispered, hoping he would hear me.

The door opened just enough to let Thor enter and then he closed it; I could tell he didn't want Loki to see me so upset. His steps echoed through the large room as he walked towards me.

"Abigail, what troubles you my friend?" Thor knelt in front of me and gently tilted my chin up so he could see my face.

"Thor, I am so confused." I choked out, "he murdered my father, didn't think, and didn't care if Phil had a family. I should hate him."

"You are too kind hearted for that." Thor said, "But that is not a bad thing."

"I know," I sniffed and wiped at my eyes, "My grandmother always told me that if you hold hate in your mind it will consume your heart and destroy your soul. It didn't matter what happened to her, she always forgave those that wronged her."

"She sounds like an incredible woman." Thor smiled at me.

"She was." I smiled back, thinking of the green eyes that used to twinkle at me. "She died just after I met Phil; she's the one that convinced me to give him a chance, reminded that regardless of how flat you make it, a pancake still has two sides."

"I do not understand." Thor looked confused.

"You've had pancakes right?" I asked, knowing how much the Asgardian loved the breakfast food.

"I have."

"And they have two sides, you can smush them all you want but they'll still have two sides." I hiccupped and sighed, "It was her way of reminding me that there are always two sides to every story."

"Ah, I see." He nodded, "she wanted you to hear your father out before you decided how to feel about him."

"Yes." I rested my head against the edge of the tub, "My mother never really spoke about Phil, they'd had a pretty big argument when she was six month pregnant and told him to get out, that she never wanted to see him again. I don't know how he found us, but he did. I was leaving high school one day when I felt something out of the ordinary; not many people knew I was special but I felt this overwhelming sense of pride and I knew that it was directed at me."

"Agent Coulson?" Thor question and I nodded, smiling as I remembered meeting my father for the first time.

"I looked around and standing on the sidewalk was this man in a suit wearing dark sunglasses, but I just knew he was looking at me." I was still smiling, "the closer I got to Phil the more nervous I got, but I needed to know who he was. When he introduced himself, he just said his name was Phil Coulson, and that had been a friend of my mother's a long time ago." She chuckled, "I just looked at him and told him that I knew he was my father."

I told Thor the story of how I met Phil and then how after Loki had dropped him through the floor that Fury and I had found him. How he'd told me how proud he was of me, how he wished we'd had more time. How I'd held his hand and watched the light in his eyes go out. How I'd been so consumed with grief that I hadn't even been able to call my mother, how I knew she wouldn't care because she had never forgiven Phil for the argument that ended their relationship even though she was just as much at fault. How I had made the decision after we'd captured Loki, that I wanted to come to Asgard, that I thought seeing Loki punished would ease some of the pain in my heart, but that when I had seen how truly frightened Loki was that I couldn't hate him, it was stupid and it was maddening, but I couldn't hate him.

Thor had moved to sit next to me at some point and he put his arm around my shoulders and held me to his side. I cried again, thinking of how so much had changed in so little time. I had told Thor I was okay with Asgardian justice, but what had happened was not alright in my eyes. I couldn't understand why they couldn't just keep the gag Thor had made in place, but I was afraid to ask.

"I will go watch my brother if you wish to clean up and perhaps change your clothes?" Thor said and I realized that even though I was wearing black I had blood on my clothes.

"That would great, thanks." I slowly stood and then sat heavily on the side of the tub, "I'll need my rucksack."

"I will retrieve it for you."

Thor walked out of the room, closing the door quickly then coming back with my sack. He showed me where the spare towels were and I had to smile when I saw the deep, jewel green of the fabric. I thanked him again and then locked the bathroom door after he left and started to get undressed. The jacket I hung on the back of the door before slipping my shirt over my head and getting out of the rest of my clothes. Along with the spacious tub there was a large shower stall with a couple of stone benches built into the walls. I stepped into the shower and set the temperature of the water and watched as Loki's blood washed down the drain.

I'm not sure how long I stayed in the shower but my skin was pink when I exited; I wiped a bit of space clear on the mirror and was happy to see my eyes weren't too red anymore. I quickly dried my short red hair with one towel and then dried my body with a slightly larger one. I grabbed clean undergarments from the bag and then rifled through what I'd brought with me. I didn't have an extensive wardrobe, but I found it odd that almost everything I brought was either black or green. I sighed, grabbing a pair of black denim capris and an emerald green tank top. I quickly slipped them on and then exited the bathroom holding the dirty clothes in one hand.

Thor turned to look at me and then held his finger to his lips. I looked to the bed and realized that Loki had fallen asleep. I nodded and pointed to the doorway, signalling that I wanted to talk to him in the other room.

"Thor, I didn't think about how my clothes were going to get washed." I kind of chuckled.

"Ah, well I am sure one of the servants could do it for you." He said, smiling.

"Well, I guess."

"That is what they are here for Abigail, they are paid to take care of those things."

"Fine," I smiled, "But Thor, please, call me Abby!"

"I will endeavour to remember you prefer to be called Abby." He smiled at me, "My father needs to speak with me, there will be someone in the hall at all times, do not hesitate to ask for assistance."

"Thank you Thor, I think we'll be okay."

Thor nodded and left. I walked back into Loki's bedroom and saw that the god was indeed sleeping; he was barefoot and the black pyjama pants that Thor had chosen were loose enough to be comfortable but tight enough to tease at the long, lean muscle underneath. I walked around to the clear side of the bed and studied him some more. His chest and stomach were smooth and lean, and his arms were strong but not bulky like his brother. He had hands that if he were human would be called pianist's hands, if he were human. His eyes were red rimmed from crying and he had dark circles under his eyes, no doubt from the blood loss and shock of his earlier flogging. I went back to my rucksack and pulled out my well-worn copy of "The Mists of Avalon". I gently climbed on to the massive bed and settled myself against the ebony headboard and began to read. It must have been something I didn't realize I wanted because soon after I sighed and shifted closer to the sleeping god. His arms were wrapped around his torso as if to protect himself from more pain and found myself running my fingers through his raven locks again. He sighed in his sleep and moved his head closer to my hand. Settling my book on my lap so I could read and turn the pages I left my other in his hair and gently played with the silky tresses.


	6. Frigga's Visit

A few hours later, at least I assumed it was a few hours later considering how much of the book I had read, there was a knock at the door. I put my bookmark in and moved slowly away from Loki, who had not stirred once. I knew the pain and blood loss would have fatigued his body and with no way to replace that energy he would probably sleep quite a bit of the next few weeks, which I almost counted as a blessing.

I slipped out of the bedroom and quietly closed the door. The gentle knock came again and I smiled, feeling the concern emanating from the person on the other side. I opened the door and was once again struck by the regal beauty of Frigga. I stepped back and allowed her into the room, bowing my head as I did so.

"Thank you Abigail." She said softly.

"My queen, if you please, most people call me Abby, Abigail is just so formal." I smiled as the goddess blushed.

"If that is what you would prefer." She sighed and turned to me, "You seem to have had a strange effect on my son."

"My queen?" I was a bit shocked at her words.

"Odin and Thor told me what transpired after you tended Loki's back." She said, her eyes searching mine for something, "We had all expected him to fight back, to try and charm his way out of his situation. Odin told me he allowed the surgeon to do his job without protest, without attempt at escape."

"That is true my queen." I nodded, "Would you care to sit?"

"Thank you." Frigga took a seat and signalled to plush black chair and I sat down, "Please, call me Frigga or Frigg." She insisted, "You are not Asgardian, you need not address me as queen."

"As you wish." I nodded, "You believe that I am the reason Loki took his punishment so well?"

"I do." Frigga sighed, "I saw the way you comforted him after his lashes and my husband says you have forgiven him for taking your father's life."

"I have." I nodded, pausing for a moment to feel beyond Frigga's confusion and check on Loki. "Hatred is not a constructive emotion; it can destroy the heart and soul of a person if they let it. My grandmother was a great believer in the power of forgiveness."

Frigga nodded, "Yes, Thor told me."

"Frigga, my lady, if I may ask; why did you come?"

Frigga smiled, "I wanted to see Loki and also to learn more about the Midgardian woman who came here with such pain in her heart, but now wishes to care for the man who caused that heartache."

"Loki is sleeping." I said, feeling oddly protective of him. "He's had a rough day."

"As have we all." Frigga said and I knew she was right.

"I can wait here if you'd like a moment alone with him."

"No, if you would accompany me." she stood and I could see her hands trembling.

"You son is strong," I said, taking her hands. "Stronger than I think even he realizes."

She squeezed my hands and I felt an odd sense of déjà vu since that was what her son had spent a large part of the afternoon doing. I slowly led the goddess to the door; I felt I needed to prepare her for what she would see.

"He is lying with his back to the door so the bandages are the first thing you'll probably see." I told her, keeping my voice soft, "They do have some blood on them but I wanted to give him time to rest before I change them. If you wish to see his face, it is not as horrible as it could be. He is pale and his eyes have dark circles under them, but the surgeon was kind and used a sharp needle, he did not tug too tightly and I cleaned up what blood I could when he was done."

Frigga looked at me with wonder, "You would take such good care of my son, you who have no reason to care for him."

"He is Thor's brother and Thor is my friend, if nothing else, that is enough." I answered as honestly as I dared.

"There is more, but for now I will accept your answer. I am ready."

I opened the bedroom door and keeping a hold of the goddess's hand I led her to see her son.


	7. Conversations

**A/N: So glad this story has so many people loving it! I've been loving writing Loki this way and developing Abby has been amazing. Thanks for all the follows and favourites!**

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Frigga stopped just inside the door of the bedroom and I waited until she was ready to continue. I could feel her pain and sadness and gently squeezed her hand. I'm not sure how long we stood there but eventually Frigga walked to the edge of the bed closest to the door and placed her hand on his shoulder. She slowly lowered herself to the edge of the bed and sat with her son. I felt like an intruder, but she was still holding my other hand, so I stayed where I was.

That was how Thor found us. Loki, still curled and sleeping on his side, their mother sitting next to him and me, standing next to her, all of us connected by Frigga's hands. I felt Thor walk up behind me and place his hands on my shoulders and I leaned back into the strength of his body. Thor had quickly become a good friend to me and his strength and resolve were a calming influence for me.

"Mother, it is time for dinner." Thor kept his voice soft and Frigga nodded, she knew that she would be expected at the table. "Abby, you are more than welcome to join us."

"I'm not sure if I should leave him." I said, watching the god on the bed, "What if he wakes up alone? He can't ask for help."

"Sister-friend," Thor used his affectionate term for me, "I believe that if Loki has already slept this long he will be asleep for much longer yet. Please, you must eat something to keep up your strength, I know mortals can go without food for much less time than we can."

I was about to argue my stomach rumbled and Frigga gave me a motherly looked, "You are hungry, you will come eat with us and then you can return here."

"Okay, just let me do one thing first."

I got a note pad from my bag and wrote Loki a quick note: _Your mother invited me to dinner. I will be back as quickly as I can._ And left it lying next to him where he could easily reach for and read it if he woke up before I returned. I couldn't resist running my fingers through his hair one last time and the gentle sigh he made as I did so caused both Thor and Frigga to look at me strangely.

We walked into the hall and the tables were full to bursting with food. Most of it looked familiar which I was very happy about. Frigga guided me to the head table where she sat to Odin's left and pulled me into the seat next to her. Odin nodded to me and I nodded back.

"Please, help yourself." He indicated the food and I grabbed bunch of grapes, some cheese and bread.

"What would you like to drink my lady?" a young servant girl asked, "We have wine, mead, ale."

I smiled at her, "Just water please."

She nodded and filled the goblet in front of me with water; the mead sounded tempting after the day I'd had but I wanted to be sober if I needed to take care of Loki when I got back to his room.

Dinner was a loud and raucous affair; Fandral kept trying to flirt with me while Volstagg consumed a rather impressive amount of food, all while telling me great stories of their battles. I laughed a few times, but I think Sif and Thor could tell I was distracted. When I was sure I could eat absolutely no more I asked Odin leave to head back to Loki's room. He nodded and asked Sif to escort me back since I didn't know my way around the palace yet.

We left the hall and were quiet for a few moments; we had just gone around a corner when Sif looked at me and asked me something I almost laughed at.

"Are you in love with Thor?"

I froze in my tracks and had to stop myself from laughing. "Me, in love with Thor?" I questioned, "No, not in the slightest." I cleared my throat, "Why do you ask?"

"It's just, I have seen the way you two act around each other and you are caring for his brother when you have no other reason to." Sif radiated confusion and just a hint of jealousy.

"Sif," I stopped walking again she turned to face me, "I love Thor like a brother. He is a good man, a great warrior, but he is just too…much for me."

"Too much?"

"Too loud, too proud, too large." I sighed, "The men I dated back home, physically at least, were much more like Loki in appearance and had a quiet strength about them."

"Also like Loki." Sif said and chuckled, "So you have no interest in Thor?"

"Not in the way you are referring, no." I laughed at her face, "He interests me as a person and a friend, but I have no romantic interest in him."

Sif nodded and we started walking back towards the royal suites.

"So, if you are not trying to win Thor's favour, why do you take care of Loki?" Sif asked as we walked down the halls and I started to recognize a few places we were walking by.

"Because Thor is my friend and I know that seeing his brother in such a condition hurts him." I sighed wondering how much I could tell Sif, "And because Loki needs me."

"He what?" the warrior was the one who stopped walking this time.

"He does not know it, but he needs someone to show him a different way of life, a different way of interacting with people." I sighed again. "I think I can show him that."

Sif nodded and showed me to the final corridor, I recognized Loki's door about half way down on the left. I smiled my thanks to the female warrior before heading down the hallway.

"Abigail." Sif called out and I turned around, "I wish you good luck."

I nodded in thanks and turned back to my original direction. I saw the guard outside the door and paused a moment to compose myself and reached out to check Loki's emotions. When I felt nothing I assumed he was still asleep and entered the room as quietly as I could. Leaning back against the door I sighed heavily, dinner had been fun but exhausting. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before walking toward the bedroom. When I reached the door I checked again and felt a small trickle of emotion from the man on the other side.

I opened the door and found Loki shivering on the bed. The bandages weren't much worse than when I'd left which I was happy about. I walked around the bed and saw that his eyes were open and on the note I'd left him.

"Loki?" I whispered, not wanting to startle him.

His eyes flicked up and the relief in his eyes startled me. I carefully climbed onto the bed and reached out of his hand, which he grabbed and held onto for dear life.

"Have you been awake long?"

Two blinks. (No.)

"Did you think I wouldn't come back?"

One slow blink. (Yes.)

I moved my book out of the way and took the note from the bed. I moved myself so I was lying on my side, facing Loki, and well within arm's reach. I moved his hand into my bottom hand and placed the one he'd been holding on his cheek.

"I promised you I would be here." I whispered, "I always keep my promises."

Loki took his hand out of mine and placed it on my hip, flexing it a bit.

"Do you want me to come closer?" I asked, my heart picking up speed a bit.

One blink. (Yes.)

As I shifted closer he moved his right arm so I could rest my head in the juncture of his elbow and I felt his left arm slip further around my waist. We were so close our noses were almost touching.

"Are you cold?" I figured he might be because he was shivering.

One blink.

I wanted to put my arm around him, hold him closer but the only clear place to put my hand was his ass and I wasn't going to do that. I looked down and noticed a black blanket at the foot of the bed. I shifted slightly to get the blanket and his hand slipped to cup my ass and I froze. I looked at Loki, he had a look of absolute shock on his face and I could feel the turmoil rolling off him. I was at a loss, I didn't know what to do and based on the look he was giving me, he didn't either.

"Loki, are you okay?"

He still looked like a deer caught in the headlights and he was blushing.

"Loki, look at me, I'm not upset." He met my eyes and I sighed, "I should have thought of this before I moved, it's okay." I lay back down but his hand stayed where it was, which oddly I was okay with.

I slipped my hand into his hair and watched his eyes. He was still conflicted; there were a lot of emotions warring for his attention. I wasn't going to get mad at him for something that hadn't been his fault. I gently shifted closer to him until our chests were touching and his left leg slipped between mine. His eyes were getting wider as I moved closer.

"Do you want me to move away?"

Two blinks. (No.)

"Do you want me to get the blanket and then come back?"

One blink. (Yes.)

I moved slowly but froze when his hand tightened on my ass. I looked up at him.

"Does me moving hurt your back?"

One blink.

"Shit." I hung my head, not sure what to do. "Should I stop?" I asked, looking back up at him.

Two blinks.

I nodded again and kept moving slowly, I snagged the edge of the blanket with my fingertips and pulled. I slowly moved back down, resting my head in the crook of his arm and covering us both with the blanket. He slid his hand back up the small of my back and lowered his head so our foreheads were touching.

"Loki?" I questioned watching a single tear trail down his cheek. "You wish your lips weren't sewn shut don't you?"

The answer was obvious but he blinked once anyway.

"So do I." I reached out and placed my hand on his hip. "I wanted to ask Odin for leniency but I swore I would not interfere." I sighed, "I just wish I knew for sure how long you could survive like this. I don't want to do you any permanent harm."

Loki's hand slid under my shirt and I shivered, his skin was very cool to the touch. I closed my eyes because I was ashamed of the feeling that his touch was stirring in me. He murdered my father, I shouldn't be feeling anything but disgust for him and yet, I felt sorry for him and as his cool hand ran up and down my back I felt something else I didn't want to name.

I held Loki as he rubbed my back and eventually fell asleep. I watched his eyes drift close and his breathing even out; only then did I close my own eyes and let sleep claim me, hoping that tomorrow would be less confusing day.


	8. Keeping Promises

The knocking on the door woke me again and as I stirred I felt a cool hand on my back and I was very aware of a lithe, toned and very male body pressed against my own. I opened my eyes and Loki's emerald orbs looked back with naked lust.

"I should get the door." I said, slowly moving back.

I dashed to the door, trying to straighten my hair and clothes. I opened the door and the handmaiden from yesterday stood there with Hogun behind her.

"Please, come in." I said, yawning, "How can I help you?"

The handmaiden was carrying another tray of towels and medical supplies, for which I was grateful. I reached to take them from her and she backed up.

"Hogun?" I asked, watching the generally silent warrior.

"I am here to escort you to breakfast Lady Abigail." He said his voice was soft, "And Fulla will tend to Loki's back."

"No."

Both looked surprised; Fulla looked especially taken aback.

"The deal I made with Odin was that _I_ would be the one to treat Loki, no one else." I looked at Fulla, "I appreciate the gesture; however, I will care for Loki." I turned back to Hogun, "And then we can go to breakfast."

Hogun nodded, took the tray from Fulla and walked with me to the bedroom. I crawled back on to the bed as Loki watched.

"I need to check your back." I told him, "I'll have to roll you onto your stomach again."

He closed his eyes and nodded slowly. Hogun had set the tray of towels and bandages on the foot of the bed.

"Is there anything you need my lady?"

"First, stop calling me "my lady", call me Abby." I said, waiting for his nod, "And yes, a basin of warm water and a bag for the soiled bandages, please."

Hogun bowed and headed to the bathroom to retrieve what I had asked for and I turned back to Loki. I placed my hand on his shoulder and he opened his eyes, the fear from yesterday had returned and I gently squeezed his shoulder.

"It'll be okay."

I slowly moved so my other hand was resting on his hip and slowly moved so he was lying on his stomach. He made a soft pained noise at first but then seemed to gain control of himself and was silent. I watched the concentration on his face as I moved him, looking for any sign that it was too much.

Hogun had returned with the basin of water and I asked him to place it on the bedside table and then hold open the bag for me. He did as I asked and I slowly started removing the bandages from Loki's back. The tape pulled a little and he grunted but I kept my touch light and soothed the tender skin as I removed the first bandage. I heard Hogun's sharp intake of breath when he saw Loki's back and part of me was happy for it, I knew that Loki harboured great resentment towards Hogun and I'd felt Hogun's sense of superiority towards Loki the moment we'd met. The second bandage came off easier and in just a few minutes Loki's back was completely exposed. It was still hard to tell where one lash ended and the others began but as I slowly used a wet cloth to clean his back again it became obvious there were some small patches of unharmed skin.

Loki's breathing started to speed up and become erratic as I cleaned so I paused for moment. He couldn't scream without tearing his lips to shreds so he was hyperventilating. I placed the rag in the water and asked Hogun to get me fresh. After the warrior left I began to run my hand though Loki's hair. He started to calm down almost immediately and I could see the gratitude on his face. I was gently stroking Loki's cheek when Hogun came back with the fresh water and a clean rag. I began to clean the rest of Loki's back and when I was done I was at least a littler happier. The edges of a few open areas were a little inflamed, but there didn't seem to be any infection setting in. I looked at the tray of supplies. There was a small bowl of something green. I pointed to it.

"Hogun, what is that?"

"Thor said you call it Aloe Vera." Hogun answered, "We use it as a healing balm. The healers did not know if it would help."

"It couldn't hurt." I said, surprised they had it here. "But it's gonna hurt like a bitch if I try and rub it in to his back." I gently touched Loki's shoulder and he looked at me, "Do you want me to try?"

I could feel the fear and conflict from him but he blinked once so I picked up the bowl and dipped my finger into it. It felt like they had taken the plant and mashed it up, I suddenly had an idea. I grabbed one of the clean cloths from the tray and scooped some of the aloe into it. I made a bundle with it and tightened it enough that some of the aloe "juice" started coming through the cloth. I smiled, this could actually work. I tightened a bit more and then gently started dabbing the bundle against Loki's back. He seemed surprised and so did Hogun but I was too involved in my work. When his back was gleaming with the aloe I tossed the now soiled cloth and useless aloe fibers into the bag with the bandages.

"Loki, I have to go have breakfast so I'll have the strength to keep helping you." I said, watching his eyes fly open and then he started blinking rapidly in sets of two. "Loki, I can't neglect my body, humans can only go a few days without food or water." His eyes widened when I said that and he blinked slowly once, letting me know he understood. "I promise you I will come back as soon as I can. I'm not going to replaces the bandages just yet because they will absorb the aloe. When I get back I'll put the clean ones okay?"

Loki blinked once and I gently stroked his hair. He closed his eyes, I was assuming to try and get some more sleep as I climbed off the bed and left with Hogun to get some breakfast.

~A~A~A~A~A~

"You are late." Odin looked at Hogun as we walked up to the table.

"My apologies All-Father, but it was not Hogun's fault." I said, squaring my shoulders, "our deal was that I was to tend Loki so that is what I did before coming here."

"I sent Fulla to assist Loki." Frigga seemed confused.

"With respect, but that was not the deal I made with the All-Father." I turned to Odin, "Was it?"

Odin sighed, "No, you are right, it was not." He nodded, "Loki is yours to care for and tend until his punishment is complete, I will not send another unless it is with more supplies."

"Thank you Allfather." I bowed to him and Frigga signalled me to sit in the seat I took at dinner.

Thor looked up as I sat down, "How does my brother this morning?"

"He seems well." I answered honestly, "He is still in pain but the wounds are not infected and I am hopeful with the right treatment scaring will be minimal."

Thor nodded; I could tell he was deep in thought. I reached across the table and he took my hand in his own and squeezed. I had now had three members of the royal ask for reassurance that way and I wondered if any of them realized it.

I took my hand back and picked up something like looked like a croissant and some honey, along with an apple and some more grapes. The servant girl asked me I wanted water again and I thanked her and said I did. Fandral seemed a bit more subdued that morning, perhaps Sif had talked to him or he had gotten the hint the night before. Volstagg still managed to consume an amount of food I found staggering the short time I took me to finish my breakfast and then offered to escort me back to Loki's suite.

Volstagg told me stories while walked back to the royal wing and I must admit that I chuckled a bit. He left me with the guard and a deep bow before retreating. I entered the bedroom and found that Loki had fallen asleep; I quickly replaced the bandages while he slept and then picked up my book to continue reading. I was glad I had packed so many books as I had a feeling I was going to reading a lot.


	9. Bordem

It was day four of Loki's punishment and I was sitting on his bed again, reading my book. I was amazed at how quickly his back was healing, even without being able to eat or drink to recover his strength. We hadn't talked about the other morning, waking up so close together and the feelings he'd had and I was fine with that. I had just turned a page in the book when I felt Loki's hand tap my thigh.

Looking down I cocked my eyebrow, wishing there was a better way for us communicate. I saw my note pad and decided to get it for him, so he could write to me if he wanted. I told him what I was going to do and he blinked once, letting me know he liked the idea. I retrieved the pad and then helped him roll onto his side so he could write easier.

_I am bored._

I sighed, I should have figured that after four days of lying on his side or stomach he would be pretty bored by now. I nodded and tried to figure out how to help him.

"Do you think you could sit up and try to walk around your room if I helped you?"

He seemed to ponder this for a moment and the slowly nodded. If he could walk then it would make cleaning his back a lot easier because I could take him into the bathroom and have him sit on the side of the tub.

"Okay, let's try that then."

He rolled back onto his stomach and grunted a bit; I would have admonished him but I knew how fiercely independent the god was so I didn't say anything. He did allow me to help him to roll on to his other side and then just like the first day I slid my arm under his and around his shoulders to help him sit up. There was a fine sheen of sweat on his face when we were done and he hung his head; his breathing a bit laboured. I took his hands in mine, still a little surprised at how cold his hands were but he gave my hands a quick squeeze and then looked up at me.

"Are you ready to try standing?"

He nodded and I watched the muscles in his leg flex as he pressed his feet firmly to the floor. I held his hands and slowly helped draw him to his feet. He was trembling when he got to his feet and I was once again reminded that he towered over me, he was probably six-foot-two and I was only five-foot-four. His hands clenched around mine as he tried to stay upright; I looked up at his face, the concentration and pain breaking my heart.

"Are you okay?" I asked softly, forcing him to look down at me.

He slowly shook his head and then let it hang in shame. I took a step closer and slowly slid my hands from his and settled them around his waist, careful of the bandages. I rested my head against his lean chest and just, hugged him. Loki seemed shocked by my actions but eventually settled his arms around my shoulders and held me to him. There was a small patch of skin between the bandages and the top of pants and I found my fingers gently stroking along it. I heard Loki make a small noise and leaned my head back to see if he was okay. The look on his face froze my breath in my lungs; he cupped the back of my head with one hand and slowly, painfully bent down so our lips were almost touching. It was then he seemed to realize what he was doing and what was, or in this case, wasn't possible because of his lips being sewn shut. I saw the embarrassment and pain in his eyes the moment before he slammed them shut and turned his face away from me.

"Loki, look at me." I said, my voice trembling as I realized I wanted him to kiss me.

He shook his head so I reached up with one hand and forced his face back to me. He kept his eyes stubbornly shut until I slowly pressed my lips against the very corner of his mouth, the one spot where there were no stitches. I felt more then saw his eyes open at the touch and I watched his eyes as I slowly moved to kiss the other side of his mouth. I took a step back, keeping one hand on his waist, the other on his shoulder.

"I'm not going to lie to you Loki," I said, "you'd know if I was so there's not point. I find myself attracted to you physically and certainly sexually, I don't know you as a person but I want you."

The shock in Loki's eyes made my heart ache; he was shaking again and I slid my hand up his neck to his cheek.

"Do you need to sit down?" I asked and he nodded a tear slipping down his cheek. "It's okay, one step at a time."

I helped him sit back down; I was now slightly taller and stepped closer to him again. He wrapped his arms around my middle and pressed his face into my stomach. I gently ran my fingers through his hair as he cried; comforting him, showing him it was okay, that I wasn't going to abandon him because of this. I started singing, softly, as I ran my hands through his hair.

"Spend all your time waiting, for a second chance, for a break that will make it okay. There's always some reason, to feel not good enough; and it's hard at the end of the day. I need some distractions, oh beautiful release, memories seep from my veins. Let me be empty, oh weightless and maybe I'll find some peace tonight." I could feel Loki still trembling but his tears seemed to be slowing, "in the arms of the angel, fly away from here, from this dark, cold hotel room and the endlessness that you fear. You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie, you're in the arms of the angel, may you find some comfort here." I felt his head tilt up and I looked into his eyes as I kept singing, "So tired of living the straight line and everywhere you turn, there's vultures and thieves at your back. And the storm keeps on twisting. Keep on building the lies that you make up for all that you lack. It don't make no difference, escape one last time; it's easier to believe, in this sweet madness, oh this glorious sadness that brings me to my knees." I slowly slipped down till I was kneeling at the side of the bed, "In the arms of the angel, fly away from here; from this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear. You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie; you're in the arms of the angel, may you find some comfort here. You're in the arms of the angel, may you find some comfort here."

I gently wiped the tears from Loki's cheeks with my fingers and then took his hands which were dangling between his legs. The confusion and gratitude he was feeling touched me and I tightened my grip on his hands.

"I told you Loki, you have a lot to learn about Midgardian women." I smiled at him, "We might be physically weaker than Asgardians, but I think we are stronger in other aspects. We don't need our men to be perfect, we just need them to be willing to try and better themselves; we accept that all people, even gods, have their weaknesses but it's not bad to have weaknesses. Life isn't black and white, people can't be entirely weak or entirely strong, just like no one is entirely good or entirely evil and anyone who says differently is selling something."

Loki's confusion seemed to subside a bit, he nodded slowly. He looked exhausted, but he was trying to hide it. My fingertips brushed along this cheekbone, it seemed to soothe him when I did that, and right now he seemed to need it.

"Would you like me to read to you?" I asked, "I brought some books that might help you learn more about Midgard and what some of us like doing for entertainment."

Loki's eyes were smiling and he nodded. I left him where he was and grabbed my copy of The Hobbit. I placed it on the bed and then slowly helped guide Loki on to the bed. He grabbed the pad and wrote two words that made me tremble.

_Hold me?_

The question mark and the worry in his eyes were hard to take made it obvious that Loki was still very much weakened from his ordeal. I nodded, my throat tight and helped him shift so that my left arm was around his shoulders and he rested his head on my shoulder. He draped his arm over my stomach and closed his eyes. I opened the book and softly started telling him the story of Bilbo Baggins and his great adventure.


	10. Unexpected Visit

**A/N: To ****Phantom105 – thank you so much for the amazing review! I'm glad you like the story so far. Yes, I know the pace has been a bit fast, but I am planning on having flashbacks in later chapters, I also didn't want this to end up being like a 100 chapter saga or something like that so I have done a few time jumps. I'm trying not to skip more than a few days at a time, but I'm not sure what else will happen as I keep writing. I love doing the "soft-Loki" and hurt comfort stories and I'm glad you're enjoying it. Depending on how it goes I may end up making this a series or doing at the very least a sequel.**

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Day seven of Loki's punishment is when I decided to start keeping a journal; I wasn't sure what good it would do, but it gave me something to do while he slept. I sat at the desk in his living room, which looked like it was made of onyx and slowly wrote out my thoughts. I hadn't lied to Loki the other day, I was definitely attracted to him physically and sexually, but he'd tried to conquer my planet, he'd killed my father, so any attraction I felt just made me feel wrong, like I was betraying all those that had lost their lives or been injured. I put my pen down and sighed, I had hoped it would help me figure out what I wanted but so far all it was doing was confusing me more.

A soft knock at the door drew my attention and I smiled, it was probably Fulla with today's supplies for Loki's back. I stood and tugged down my shirt, which always rode up in the back when I sat down for too long. I opened the door and was a bit surprised to see Thor standing there; he hadn't come to see his brother since he helped bring him to his room a week ago.

"Thor, please, come in." I said, standing back and watching the tall blond enter the room, "Loki is sleeping, but if you wish to see him I doubt he could protest."

"I did not come to see my brother." He said, "I came to see you."

I was a bit surprised, but I gestured to the sitting area and after Thor had settled himself on the couch, I sat in one of the green chairs, tucking my feet under myself and smiling at my friend.

"It's nice to have company." I said, "but you're not just here to give me someone to talk to, are you?"

Thor sighed, "No, I am not."

"I didn't think so." I watched Thor, feeling the discomfort from him, "Somehow S.H.I.E.L.D. got a hold of you, didn't they?"

"Yes."

"What does Fury want?"

"He is not happy that you plan to stay until my brother's punishment is complete; he wishes you to return to Midgard immediately."

"Tough." I almost laughed at Thor's confused expression, "I made a pact with your father, and I will not insult the gods of my ancestors, the gods I was raised to revere, by breaking that pact."

"You also swore a pact with S.H.I.E.L.D." Thor reminded me.

"I work for them, they don't control my life." I sighed, "I dedicated myself to the gods of my ancestors long before I knew my grandmother's stories were not just stories. If Fury doesn't like that I am following my heart and my faith, then I will resign."

"Abby," Thor sighed, "There is someone else here who wishes to speak with you."

I closed my eyes and sighed, I didn't know who it would be but the knock on the door surprised me; as did the person who walked through the door.

"Steve?" I stood as Rogers walked into the room.

"Abby," he stopped in front of me. "Come home, please."

I closed my eyes and then looked up at my friend. "I can't Steve, I'm sorry, but I just can't."

I turned away from the two blonds and walked to the desk, which faced a window. I stared out over the part of Asgard I could see and tried to fight through my own conflicted emotions and ignore what I was feeling from the two men in the room with me.

I heard footsteps behind me and then a pair of very warm hands rested on my shoulders. I closed my eyes and felt a couple of tears slip down my cheeks.

"Abby," Steve's voice was soft, "I want you to come home. This has nothing to do with S.H.I.E.L.D. or New York; this is just me, asking you to come home, with me."

The full weight of Steve's words and emotions settled on me and I realized what he was saying; he had feelings for me, he missed me and wanted me to go back to Earth and be with him. I hung my head, I would have to break my friend's heart and I didn't want to do that. I slowly turned and looked up at Steve. He was a great man, but Loki had been right, he was a man out of time and his morals, his way of doing things could never mesh with who I was.

"Steve," I sighed, "you are a good friend, but I can't go with you."

"Abby, I love you." He whispered and I noticed that Thor had left the room.

"Steve, please, don't do this." I was practically begging him.

"Don't do what?" he asked, confusion written all over his face, "You're the first woman since I woke up that hasn't treated me like a relic."

"Steve, please…" I was trembling, "Don't make me break your heart."

He looked at me, the meaning of my words sinking in. "You don't love me."

"I'm sorry." I could feel the pain he was in and it hurt me too, "You're a great guy and I don't think you're a relic, but I don't think we'd be a good match. I'm sorry."

Steve nodded, "it's okay." He sighed, "The constant boy scout thing isn't for everyone."

I smiled up at him, "I hope this won't affect our friendship."

"Not at all, but if you ever do start dating someone I can't say it'll be easy." He leaned down and kissed my cheek, "I just want you to be happy Abigail."

"Then let me stay." I drew Steve back to the couch and once we'd sat down I spoke, "My grandmother worshiped the Norse Gods when most other people were Christian, she was positive that they weren't just stories but that the Gods were real but were staying uninvolved so that we could develop on our own. She was sure they still watched over us. Just as she was sure that somewhere, somehow, we had AEsir in our blood. I grew up learning my religion from her, when you make a vow to a God, you cannot break it Steve and I made a pact with Odin Allfather that I would care for his son and I will not back out now. Loki needs me Steve, I don't know why and I don't know how, but he needs me."

A soft jingle from the other room drew my attention. I'd asked Fulla for a bell so that if I was in the other room Loki could get my attention.

"I'll be right back Steve."

I stood up and walked into the bed room. Loki had his back to the door so I walked around the other side and crawled over to where the note pad was lying with a message on it.

_Who's here?_

"Captain America." I told him, running my hand down his arm. "S.H.I.E.L.D. wants me to come home."

Loki's eyes widened and he shook his head. _Please don't go._

"I'm not going anywhere Loki, I promise." I slipped my fingers to his raven locks and stroked. "I told Steve I'm not leaving you. I made a promise to you and to your father to stay until at least you're able to speak again."

"Oh. My. God." The words came from the doorway and my eyes snapped up as Loki tensed.

"Steve, what are you doing?" I asked the stunned soldier.

"What did they do to him?" he asked, slowly walking forward.

I looked at Loki, "can I tell him?"

One slow blink. (Yes.)

"You're looking at Asgardian justice Steve." I said my voice tight, "One hundred lashes, with a bullwhip."

Steve looked like he was going to be sick. "I never thought." He shook his head, "I thought they'd just lock him in prison or something."

Loki's hand was resting on my knee and it tensed as Steve got closer.

"It's alright Loki, Steve won't hurt you." I said, trying to soothe the now trembling god. "That wasn't his only punishment Steve."

"What?" Steve looked eve even more shocked, "What more did they do to him?"

I closed my eyes, a tear streaking down my cheek and I felt Loki reach up and brush it away. I looked down at him and he pointed to the pad.

He'd written, s_how him._

I nodded, "You'll have to lie on your back, you think you can handle that?"

Loki nodded and I slowly helped him roll onto his back; his breath hissed out through his nose and the minute Steve saw his face he went green.

"Bathroom is that door there." I pointed and Steve dashed across the room and I heard him retching a moment later.

I slowly helped Loki sit up so he wasn't putting pressure on his back and he leaned against me was we waited for Steve to finish in the bathroom. Loki had his head resting against my shoulder and I could feel the shame coming off him.

"Don't do that Loki." I whispered, "Steve is disgusted by what's been done to you, you have nothing to be ashamed of."

I felt him slowly nod and I gently rubbed his arm. I'd been letting his wounds get air for a couple hours a day to help them heal and it did seem to be working. I was still rubbing Loki's arm and he was idly toying with his pants when the bathroom door opened and Steve walked back out, looking very pale.

"Steve, you okay?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

"Not really." He shook his head, "I've never seen anything so… how does he eat?"

Loki turned his face into my neck and I reached up with my other hand to stroke his hair before answering Steve.

"He doesn't." I sighed, "Can't drink either."

"How long?" Steve asked.

"How long what?"

"How long has he been…like that?"

"A week," I whispered, "it happened the day we arrived. His punishment is two and a half weeks like this."

"My god." Steve sank down onto the bench at the end of bed. "I never thought, I mean I really never thought they'd do something so…" he shook his head, "his own family did this to him?"

"Odin is judge and jury here, he's the one that issued the punishment yes." Loki was trembling in my arms and I grabbed a pillow so he could lie with his head in my lap, which was infinitely more comfortable given our different heights.

He gave a contented sigh as he lay down and I started running my fingers through his hair, gently scratching his scalp with my nails. Steve watched us for a moment and then sighed.

"You care about him." He said, a statement, not a question.

"Yes." I met Steve's eyes, "and I've forgiven him."

Steve nodded, "You're a great woman Abby. I'm not sure I'd be able to forgive that quickly."

"Holding on to the anger would only hurt me and give Loki more power over my life," I was remembering my grandmother's words, "I couldn't do that, it would dishonour my father and his memory."

I watched Loki's chest rise and fall and realized that he'd fallen asleep again. He was sleeping a lot more and it took longer to wake him up when I tried. I couldn't tell anyone on Asgard how much it worried me because I'd sworn not to interfere with Loki's punishment, but I was worried. He had a week and a half left in his punishment and I wasn't sure how he'd recover afterwards.

Giving his hair one final stroke I gently lifted the pillow and set him on the bed, signalling to Steve that we should go back out to the living area if he wanted to keep talking. He nodded and we headed back out, letting Loki sleep.


	11. Dinner and Realizations

**Phantom105 - glad you liked the new chapter, I certainly take constructive criticism to heart. Thanks again. Hope you enjoy this one too!**

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We sat back in the living room and Steve sat with his hands between his knees, looking at the ground. I could feel the turmoil from him and sighed.

"It's almost dinner time, you want to go get something to eat?" I asked, watching his head rise.

"Sure." He smiled weakly, "if I can keep anything down."

I walked back to the bedroom and left Loki a note that I was going to dinner, just in case he woke up and then returned to see Steve standing by the door. I knew my way around the royal residence pretty well after a week and got us to the dining hall without getting lost. The gilded halls were all very similar, but I'd learned how to distinguish one from the other. Frigga looked up and smiled as I entered and signalled that she had two seats waiting for us. I led Steve to the table and introduced him to Frigga, Sif, and the Warriors Three. I could tell he was uncomfortable and I hoped he wouldn't cause any problems.

Luckily for me Volstagg quickly captured Steve's attention and started regaling him with stories of their great battles. Thor was watching me from across the table and I smiled.

"Everything is okay Thor," I assured him, "I am not upset with you."

Thor nodded and I turned to Odin, "Allfather, if I may ask, why did you allow Captain Rogers to come to Asgard?"

"Thor thought you might be lonely, he also thought that perhaps if you could get a friend to understand your desire to stay it would make things easier for you." Odin smiled at me, it was a very fatherly smile and I felt comforted, "I agreed."

"Thank you." I smiled.

Dinner was over pretty quickly and Steve walked back with me to Loki's rooms, I knew there was something he wanted to ask but was too much of a gentleman to ask. As we entered the living room I gestured to the couch and quickly peeked into the bedroom and found Loki lying in the same position as before. I quickly jotted on the note pad that I was home and then went back into the living room, trying not to think of the fact that I just referred to Loki's rooms as "home".

"There's only one bedroom." Steve said, blushing as he did so.

"Yes." I nodded, "The bed is large and if Loki needs me at night he can't really call out for help."

Steve nodded, I could tell it made him uncomfortable to think of me sharing a bed with Loki, no matter how large but I couldn't be responsible for his comfort.

"How long are you staying?"

"Just until tomorrow morning." He sighed, "Fury's not going to be happy."

I nodded, "I know Steve, I'm sorry."

"It's okay, I understand." He smiled, "You gave your word, if there's something I understand is that some people still mean what they say and keep their word."

"Yes." I smiled back at him, "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

We sat and talked for a couple more hours and it was really nice to have a conversation with someone that could actually verbally respond. When I started yawning Steve excused himself and I asked the guard to show him down the hall to Thor's suite, which is where Steve would be staying. I walked back to the bedroom and saw Loki reaching for the bell.

"I'm here." I said and his hand stopped.

I helped him move back into his normal sleeping position and then lay down next to him. I yawned and he signalled for me to roll over, I cocked and eyebrow but did it anyway. He slipped his arm around my waist and tugged me so my back was against his chest and I was very aware that my ass was tucked against his crotch. He rested his chin on the top of my head and then sighed, I could feel the happiness radiating off him as he slipped his hand over mine.

"One squeeze for yes, two squeezes for no." I whispered, "Does your back hurt right now?"

Two squeezes.

"Good." I smiled even though he couldn't see me. "Are you happy I'm here?"

One long, firm squeeze.

"Me too." I sighed, "I shouldn't be but I am. Will you miss me?" I don't know why I asked but it seemed to shock Loki too because I felt the muscles in his stomach twitch.

He tightened his hold on me and then gently squeezed my hand once. I shivered in his hold, leaning my head farther back; realizing that I would miss him too. I had gotten used to having the god around and it was slowly dawning on me that Odin had said I could stay until his mouth was unstitched, he hadn't said whether I was going to be sent home right after that happened or not.

"I'll miss you too Loki." I whispered softly, "I probably shouldn't, I probably shouldn't be feeling the way I am, I barely know you and you did horrible things, but I can't help it."

He held me close and I felt him trembling too; it had only been a week but something was happening, something was changing between us and it apparently scared the both of us.

"Do you want me to go?" I asked, almost scared of the answer.

Two hard, fast squeezes.

"Gods help me, I don't want to go either." I whispered, "I don't want to leave you, not know if you'll be okay after this."

His right arm slid under my side and wrapped around me; he hugged me close and I was pretty sure he was crying. I placed my hand over his and pressed as hard as I could, hoping he would understand. I could feel him press his lips against my hair and knew, without him having to say anything that he knew, that if he could, I would be feeling more than just the press of the stitches against my hair.

I fell asleep that night wrapped in Loki's arms, feeling his cool skin against my own arms; I had never imagined feeling safe in the arms of a man I should hate but Asgardian justice had stripped both of us bare and let us see the people we could be, if just given the chance.

As I drifted off to sleep another song from Smash filtered through my mind; "Don't Forget Me" was the final song in the fictional musical and I found myself focusing on the last bit of the song.

_When you see someone's hurt and in need of a hand, don't forget me. Or hear a melody crying from some baby grand, you don't forget me. __When you sing happy birthday to someone you love or see diamonds you wish were all free. Please say that you won't; I pray that you don't forget me. _

_There are some in this world who have strength of their own, never broken or in need of repair; but there are some born to shine who can't do it alone, so protect them and take special care. Take care! And don't forget me. Please take care and don't forget me. When you look to the heavens with someone you love and a light shining bright from afar, hope you see my face there and then offer a prayer and please let me be, let me be the star!_

I couldn't help but thinking that Loki and I both fit into the second category and I wondered for a moment if maybe we would be able to help each other.


	12. Turn for the Worse

Three days later I sat on the edge of Loki's bed and worried; his back was healing well, but his colouring and lack of energy bothered me. Each day it got harder for me to rouse Loki and when I could he seemed confused; he would still answer my questions but his responses were sluggish. The dark circles under his eyes had deepened to the point where he looked like he had two black eyes. His breathing had been so shallow last night that I'd placed my hand under his nose to make sure he was alive. I was pretty sure he was dying. I hung my head and tried to decide what to do. I had sworn to Odin that I would not interfere with Loki's punishment but I had not thought his condition would degrade so quickly. He had seemed so normal just a few days ago.

A soft knock at the door drew my attention and I left the sleeping god to see who would be visiting. Fulla was the only person I saw with any regularity unless I was at the meal table. I was surprised when I opened the door and Frigga stood there. She had not come to visit since the first day but she was here now and I stepped back to allow her to enter past me.

"Frigga, it is lovely to see you." I said, watching the goddess pace the room. "How can I help you?"

"I worry Abby." She said, smiling at me with motherly affection. "You have not had much to say of Loki in the past few days."

I took a deep breath and tried to think of what to say, "I did not wish to alarm you and I promised Odin I would not interfere with his punishment." I said, I could feel my voice trembling.

Frigga turned to look at me and I lost what little control I had been maintaining on my emotions. I sunk into the nearest chair and began to cry. Frigga knelt in front of me and took my hands.

"Child, tell me, what is wrong?"

"He…he is so pale mother." I whispered, remembering praying to Frigga when I was child, "His chest hardly moves and I can rouse him for no more than a few minutes a time and each time it takes more effort to do so." I was sobbing now.

Frigga pulled me into her arms and rocked me gently as I cried. I had told Thor and Frigga both that I did not want to be responsible for any permanent harm coming to Loki, but it looked like it was coming to that. Frigga rubbed my back and I shivered.

"Please mother, do something." I whispered, "I fear Loki is dying."

Frigga pulled back so suddenly that we both nearly fell over. Her face was pale and she dashed into the bedroom so quickly I was surprised she didn't trip on her dress. I quickly followed her and found her kneeling close to Loki, her hand on his head.

"A healthy Asgardian can go weeks without food for water; Loki was neither healthy or fully Asgardian when this happened." I could hear the sorrow in her voice, "I fear you may be right."

She stood and watched my face; she seemed to see whatever she was looking for and nodded slowly.

"You care a great deal for my son." She said and it wasn't a question.

"I do." I answered anyway.

"I may be able to do something, but it may require a sacrifice on your part." Frigga looked nervous.

"Anything." I said too quickly, "Please mother, I will do anything short of leaving his side if you can save him."

Frigga nodded, "You would stay with him?"

What she was saying dawned on me, "You want to know if I would be willing to stay, to care for him until he is well if you can convince Odin to unbind his lips."

"Yes." Frigga was honest with me, "it could take months."

I hung my head, she said months; months away from my friends, my family, and my planet. I took a deep breath and looked at the man on the bed, I remembered our "talk" from a few nights ago; he didn't want me to leave and I didn't either.

"I'll need some things from my home on Midgard if I were stay longer." I said, "Clothes, more books and other things."

Frigga nodded, "I will see what I can do. Will you come with me?"

"Yes."

I left Loki a quick note, not that I was expecting him to wake up, but I didn't know how long the conversation with Odin was going to take.

~A~A~A~A~A~A~A~

Odin was sitting on his throne but started descending the stairs when he saw Frigga and I walking towards him; I was sure the tears I'd spilt earlier were still obvious on my cheeks as we got closer.

"Frigga, Abigail, what is wrong?" Odin asked, placing a hand on each of our shoulders.

"Loki is dying." Frigga said softly, "Abby has told me that his condition has gotten worse the past few days. He sleeps almost constantly and when she does try to wake him, it takes longer and longer each time."

"Abigail, is this true?" Odin asked and I nodded, my eyes tearing up again. "Why did you not tell me?"

"It's only been the last couple days and I promised I wouldn't interfere." I hiccupped, "Also, I don't know how Asgardians react to not eating, I wasn't sure if this was normal."

"It is not," Odin said, "but you could not have known that." Odin turned to his wife, "You would not have come to me if you did not have something else to ask of me."

"I do not want to lose my son." Frigga said, there were tears in her eyes, "Abby said she did not want his punishment to be longer than two and a half weeks; she did not say she would be angry if it were shorter."

Odin was nodding, "There will be some who are unhappy if we release him sooner." He sighed, "I do not want to lose Loki either, but how can we make sure he is still punished?"

I swallowed and then took a leap of faith, "Restrain him some other way." I said, causing the two Asgardians to look at me strangely. "You still have the restraints and muzzle that Thor used when we came here, do you not?"

Odin nodded again, "We do."

"So, remove the stitches, allow him to eat and drink something, then put the muzzle back on." I took another chance, "You could also keep him confined to his bed using the cuffs and attaching them to the wall above the bed."

Odin seemed to be considering this. "Is his back healed enough to be able to have him lay on it all day?"

"It would be uncomfortable, but not impossible. I would need the keys to allow him to eat and to tend his back, but it could be managed." I said, hoping he would allow it.

"So be it." He turned and called for a guard. "Get the surgeon."

"No." I gasped, "No, please, let me do it. Loki trusts me."

Odin turned his head to me and seemed surprised but nodded. He told the guard to have the surgeon prepare the tools and deliver them to Loki's room.

"I will come with you and explain to our son the new conditions of his punishment."

~A~A~A~A~A~A~

I entered the bedroom first, Loki was still curled on his side and I had to get right up next to him before I could tell he was still breathing. I heard his parents, adoptive or not, come in the room and heard Odin suck in a harsh breath. I crawled to Loki's side across the bed and gently stroked his cheek.

"Loki, I need you to wake up." I whispered, "Odin is here to see you, please wake up."

I sighed, this was going to be harder than I thought; I reached out and shook his shoulder, and finally felt him start to stir. His eyes fluttered but did not open.

"Come on Loki, I need to see those eyes." I said, slipping my hand into his hair. "Don't make me pull your hair again."

His eyes shot open but they were glazed and they flicked around wildly before settling on mine.

"Good boy Loki." I smiled at him, "Odin is here, he needs to speak to you."

Loki nodded and I slipped my arm under him and help him sit up. He was trembling almost violently by the end of it and I held him close, hating how thin he'd gotten in just a few days.

"Loki, it has come to my attention that you are not holding up to your original punishment and since you were not sentenced to death, I will be modifying your punishment." I felt Loki tense at the words. "Your stitches will be removed, you will be allowed to eat a small meal and have a drink of water. The original muzzle that you were transported here in will then be put on you and you will be chained to the bed with the cuffs." Loki was shaking as Odin talked; "You will be released only twice a day; once to eat and once to have your back tended to until the rest of your original two and a half weeks is up."

I looked at Loki and he looked petrified; I grabbed his hand and he squeezed tightly.

"Abigail will remain with you," Odin said and Loki sagged a bit against me, "until you are fully healed."

The pronouncement hit me like a tonne of bricks; I didn't have to leave in a week, I could stay and take care of Loki. I closed my eyes and felt a single tear slide down my cheek.

"Thank you Allfather." I whispered.

The surgeon entered with the tools that would be needed to remove Loki's stitches and a guard was behind him carrying the muzzle, cuffs and keys. Loki's trembling got worse when the surgeon entered the room.

"Shhh Loki, it's okay." I ran my hand up and down his side, "he's only delivering the supplies. I'll be removing your stitches."

I leaned forward so he could see my eyes, I watched him process the information and the trembling slowly stopped. The surgeon set the tray down and then left the room. The guard did the same with the restraints. I gently stroked the side of Loki's pale and sweaty face as he started to calm down.

"You were right, he does trust you." Frigga's voice drew my attention from Loki and I watched the awe on her face.

"He's been without food for a week, he won't be able to eat much and nothing too rich or heavy, maybe some bread and soft cheese along with some fruit." I said, "Could you please call for someone to bring that? Along with water."

"Certainly." Frigga nodded and left the room.

"Thank you." Odin smiled at me, "This would not have been easy for her to watch."

I nodded, knowing it would extremely hard for me as well, even though I was the one doing it. I knew we couldn't delay too much longer so I helped Loki lie down. I got a towel from the bathroom and gently dried his face. I placed my hand against this cheek, smoothed my thumb across his cheekbone and then picked up the scissors I would need to cut the thread.


	13. Emotional Consequences

**loveshbhp – thanks for the review! I'm glad you like the way their relationship is developing. I'm trying to make it as organic as possible, along with making sense with who Abby is.**

**A/N: I've been pondering for a while why exactly Abby, with all her gifts, cares for Loki and wants to stay with him; after listening to Tom's view on "Compassion" it all makes sense. I highly recommend watching it on YouTube, it's heartfelt and so well thought out and well spoken, as Tom is, that it completely makes what Abby is feeling make sense.**

* * *

"I'm not going to lie to you Loki, this is probably going to hurt," I sighed, "the skin has probably healed against the string."

He nodded and then took my hand and squeezed tightly and then released. He moved his hand and I handed him the note pad.

_I understand. Please don't cry. _The writing was very shaky, but I nodded that I understood.

I touched my own cheek and realized it was damp.

"I don't want to hurt you." I whispered.

_I know. I trust you._

I took a deep breath and nodded.

"I'll snip the stitches first and then we'll work on getting them out okay?"

Loki nodded and fisted the sheets with his hands. I raised the scissors but froze when I watched Odin walk to the side of the bed and take one of Loki's hands in his own.

"I know you feel betrayed by me, but you are still my son."

Loki's eyes gleamed with tears and looked at me; I took the towel and gently wiped his tears and he closed his eyes and then nodded.

The small surgical scissors snipped easily through the string and I sighed, that was easy part. I took a rag from the tray, dipped it in the bowl of water provided and gently wiped Loki's lips. He shivered as I pressed a little harder on the second swipe and his lips popped open. A small groan escaped as I wiped the inside of his lips and the rag came back brown and pink. Looked at the tweezers on the tray and realized that would be only way to get the stitches out. I sighed heavily and felt Loki's hand on my thigh so I looked up.

"Do it." He rasped.

Hearing his voice after so many days of silence was shocking; the fact that he could talk being so dehydrated and weak was amazing and I nodded.

I grabbed the tweezers and placed them at the base of the first thread. Pressing down with one hand and tugging up with the other the stitch came free and Loki gave a rather, "undignified" yelp. I dabbed the spot with a towel and sighed. I didn't like how much he was going to have to bleed to get the stitches out but there was nothing I could do about it. I tried to be as quick as I could and when I was done Loki had a white knuckle grip on his father's hand and I was holding the towel to his lips, trying to get the bleeding to stop. I slowly peeled the towel away from the oldest of the new wounds on his mouth and was happy to see they weren't as big as I had feared they'd be. I cleaned my hand then crawled off the bed to dispose of the threads and soiled towels.

I rested my hands on the green marble counter and looked up at myself, my eyes were red-rimmed from trying not to cry as I removed the stitches and I was a lot paler than normal. I could feel the trembling starting and knew that this would not be good. I closed the bathroom door and waited…just waited for what I knew was coming because I knew I couldn't stop it. My breathing started speeding up… I was gasping…my chest heaving as I tried to get air into my burning lungs… my throat went tight and then it hit. My knees gave and the scream ripped through my constricted throat. I was shattering, falling into so many pieces I wasn't sure I could ever be put back together. Once the scream ended the wracking sobs started; the tears so hot it felt like they were burning my skin as the pain tried desperately to escape my aching and confused heart.

"Sister." Thor's voice reached through my despair as I felt his arms wrap around me.

I sobbed into his hard chest and he rubbed my back, holding me close. I knew I had told them I could handle Asgardian justice but this just seemed so wrong and I hated hurting Loki, even though he told me the trusted me.

I really have no idea how long we stayed in the bathroom, Thor comforting me but there was gentle knock on the door and I saw the golden hem of Frigga's dress.

"Oh daughter." She sighed, kneeling down and taking me from Thor. "You ache so much for so many, yet take no time for yourself, do you?"

I looked up into Frigga's eyes and shook my head. She cradled me against her and smoothed my hair. I felt Thor take my hand and I started to relax. I closed my eyes and let them comfort me. I knew that I should have been talking to someone but I just had no idea what to say or who I could talk to about how I was feeling.

"Loki is asking for you," Frigga said, "he heard you crying and is quite distressed."

"Oh gods." I sat up and then allowed Thor to draw me to my feet.

I'd gone full blown ugly cry and my eyes were all red; I splashed some water on my face and blew my nose. I took a deep breath and then nodded to my friend and the woman who had apparently adopted me as the daughter she never had. They left the room first and I waited a few seconds.

"Calm yourself brother, Abby is okay. She will be out shortly." I could hear Thor trying to calm Loki.

"Thor speaks the truth Loki." Frigga's voice was gentle but firm. "She is coming."

I slowly walked out of the bathroom, trying to keep my head up. Odin had his hands on Loki's shoulders, keeping him on the bed and when he saw me his one blue eye was sad. I nodded and he gently released Loki's shoulders. I tried to be slow, I tried to be dignified but when Loki looked at me I gave up all care and ran to the bed. I scrambled across it as he forced himself to sit up and wrapped my arms around his neck. His came around my middle and he clung to me, his face in my neck and I felt hot tears streaking down his cheeks.

"I'm okay." I whispered, "I promise, I'm okay."

He was shaking with the force of keeping his sobs silent, I guessed either he was so used to it after ten days he didn't make a sound or he did not want to embarrass himself in front of his family.

"Let's give them a few minutes to talk." I heard Frigga suggest and then three pairs of feet left the room and the door closed.

I slipped my hand into his hair and rubbed his scalp. "Please don't cry Loki, I'm okay."

He slowly drew back and I gasped at the pain in his eyes. I wiped away his tears with my fingers and he pressed his cheek into my hand.

"Abby?" he whispered my name and I shivered.

"Yes Loki?"

"Why did you scream?" His voice was rough but he spoke well.

I sighed, "I've been so concerned with taking care of you, which I do not regret, that I have sort of neglected my own emotional well-being." I stroked his cheek, watching the pain and regret in his eyes.

"I am sorry." He whispered.

"Don't be." I whispered back, "This is not your fault."

"I killed your father." He whispered back, "if I had not, you would not have come here."

I closed my eyes, knowing he was right. "I am responsible for my own actions Loki, I could have reached out to someone, asked for help." I rubbed my thumb along his cheek, "I would not have changed one moment of the last ten days, except maybe your lips." I gently ran my thumb along his lower lip, watching to make sure I didn't make him bleed.

He closed his eyes and sighed, but I could tell he was getting tired again.

"Do you want to eat?" I asked, knowing he wouldn't be allowed to again until tomorrow.

"Please."

I smiled at him and helped him sit back against the headboard so he could eat. I saw that Frigga had placed the tray on the table next to the bed and picked it up and set it on Loki's lap. He picked up a slice of apple and I watched his hand tremble on the way to his lips. He hissed as the acidic juice hit the fresh wounds in his mouth after he bit into it. I watched him slowly chew and grimace slightly as he swallowed. He let his head fall back against the headboard and he sighed.

I took a piece of bread from the tray and spread a bit of soft cheese on it. I took the apple from his hand and placed it back on the tray; he opened his eyes and looked at me as I raised the bread to lips. His eyes were cautious and surprised.

"I want to feed you Loki." I smiled when he opened his mouth and accepted the food.

After a few more bites I held the glass of water to his lips and he took a couple of small swallows. He only ate about half the food before he shook his head and said no more, but he did drink all the water. I sighed, not liking what would come next.

"I have to get your father, you'll have to be restrained now." I said, lowering my eyes.

"I understand." He grasped my hand and gave me a small smile, "We can still talk with the note pad when you clean my back and when I eat each day."

I nodded and went to get Odin to secure Loki until tomorrow.


	14. Understanding

I swabbed and bandaged Loki's lips before Thor put the muzzle back on him; he looked so dejected that I stroked my thumb across his knuckles as I held his hand. Odin had a hook put into the wall just above the headboard and attached the cuffs to it and they were opened at the moment.

"Are you ready?" I asked, watching his eyes.

He nodded and I helped him lie back. Thor took his one hand and raised it to the cuff. It clicked shut and I flinched. I kept my eyes locked with his as I slowly raised his other hand and Thor secured the cuff. Odin and Thor nodded and left us alone.

"I'm sorry." I stroked his cheek above the muzzle and he winked at me.

I settled in next to his side, resting my head on the pillow but laying my arm over his chest, my hand ended up directly over his heart. He sighed softly as my hand touched his cool skin. I leaned up and kissed his forehead before closing my eyes and drifting off feeling Loki's heart beating under my hand.

~A~A~A~A~A~A~

By the next morning I'd shifted so I was even closer to Loki, my head was now resting on his chest and my leg was settled between his. The hand that had been on his chest was tangled in his hair and the other was resting on his elbow. I slowly opened my eyes, feeling his cool skin against my cheek, and feeling slightly embarrassed. I tilted my head and saw him watching me with deep green eyes. The feelings rolling off him were so painfully obvious that I nearly pulled away from him. I shifted a little and it became even more obvious that he was pleased that I was where I was. I blushed, my face heating up as I tried to decide what to do.

I gently untangled my hand from his hair and slowly sat up. I looked down at him and it was clear that if he didn't have muzzle on he'd be smirking. I ran my hand through his hair and help him sit up a bit more and rubbed his arms which looked like they might be cramping up after being in the same position all night.

He closed his eyes as I rubbed his arms and I placed a gentle kiss on his temple. When I pulled back he was watching me with confusion. I just shrugged at him and smiled softly. There was a knock at the door and he nodded, knowing I would have to answer it.

Thor was at the door and I smiled at my friend. He walked in and looked around the room.

"How is my brother this morning?" he asked.

"Come see for yourself." I said and walked back into the bedroom, leaving Thor behind.

I waited at the foot of the bed and when I saw that Thor was coming into the room I told Loki I needed a shower, grabbed some clothes and went into the bathroom. I took as long as I could in the shower, realizing it had been a while since I'd shaved my legs and done some personal grooming. I used my full body exfoliator and used both shampoo and conditioner on my hair. My skin was rosy pink when I stepped out of the shower and I quickly toweled off my hair and combed it out, realizing it was getting longer than I was usually comfortable with, but I hadn't seen many people with short hair on Asgard so I decided to leave it. I got dressed and was about to open the bathroom door when I realized I could hear Thor through the door.

"Brother, I must ask you something and I need you to be honest with me, it is important." I held my breath, my ear pressed against the door. Loki must have nodded or something because Thor continued speaking, "Do you care for Abigail?" I slid to the floor, my legs suddenly unable to hold me. "She is a good friend of mine and I do not want her getting hurt. Please brother, treat her well." I had a feeling I knew what Loki's answer was from Thor's response and I made a big deal of rattling the doorknob before opening the door.

"You know Thor, your voice carries." I said emerging from the bathroom and the god of thunder had the good grace to blush. "If you want to have a private conversation, I can leave."

I watched the brothers exchange glance and sighed, I so did not have the patience for this kind of thing this morning. I slipped my shoes on and shook my head.

"I am hungry so I am going to get something to eat. Feel free to talk about me and my feelings all you want while I'm gone."

I didn't wait to see Loki's response or hear Thor's; I slammed the door to the suite and stormed to the hall. I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself before entering. Odin and Frigga were at the table and I sat beside the queen as usual. She smiled at me as I took my usual breakfast foods and the servant girl brought me water. I thanked her and began to eat.

"You are tense daughter." Frigga said after I'd been eating for a few minutes. "What troubles you this morning?"

I took a deep breath, "Just men being men mother." I said softly, but Odin heard me.

"Men being men?" Frigga inquired, clearly intrigued.

"Thor came to Loki's room this morning, asking after his brother. Loki was awake so I invited Thor in and went to have a shower while they talked. When I was finished I could hear Thor asking Loki about me, and how he doesn't want to see me get hurt." I sighed, "I know that Thor cares for me as a sister, however, I am not a child and can make my own decisions about things, and it is not his job or place to protect me."

"Thor is very protective of his friends." Sif said from my other side, "You may not think it is his job or place to do that, but it is his nature to try and keep those he loves from harm."

I sighed, "I know. I'm just not used to it."

Thor strode into the hall and I studiously ignored him. I was nearly finished eating anyway so I excused myself and left the hall once he'd sat down. I exited the hall and went the opposite direction of the royal wing. I just wandered around, since I wasn't really in the mood to be around other people at the moment. I got to a large set of double door and pushed, the doors opened and I gasped; I'd found the library. I walked in and looked around. I picked a random book off the shelf and was pleased to find it was written in English. There was a large fireplace in the one wall with comfy looking chairs in front of it. I walked over and curled up in the chair and opened the book on my lap. I was quickly absorbed in the book; it gave a lot of the history of Asgard and even their earlier interactions with Midgard.

As I read there kept being a particular Midgardian woman that kept being mentioned and her name was very familiar. This woman was special to Odin and after the Frost Giants had been defeated he came back to Midgard one final time to see her. He thanked her for her help and bestowed upon her gifts that would be past from first born daughter to first born daughter. I nearly dropped the book when I read the gifts she was given. I slowly stood and put the book back where I found it.

I walked slowly through the halls, trying to remember where I had come from and trying to come to terms with the fact that over a thousand years ago one of my ancestors had been given a gift by Odin and that was why I was "special". My grandmother had always sworn that the "gift" she and I had embraced, but that my mother had shunned, was actually a gift from the gods, I wondered how she would feel knowing she'd been right all along.

"Are you lost my lady?"

I hung my head; Fandral was the last person I wanted to see.

"Yes Fandral, I needed some time alone after breakfast and found myself in library, however, I have no idea how to get back to Loki's quarters from here." I sighed, "He is probably wondering why I've been gone so long."

Fandral nodded, "I would happy to escort you my lady."

"Fine, but no funny business." I said, watching his confused look. "No flirting, no trying to hit on me."

Fandral nodded and led me back to the royal wing of the palace. We were only a few corridors away when I recognized where I was and told Fandral so.

I walked the rest of the way on my own; I opened the door to Loki's room and heard Thor's voice again.

"No brother, I do not know where she is or when she will return." I could hear him sigh, "She was quite upset at breakfast. She left shortly after I arrived and I have not seen her since. Mother said she was unhappy that I was speaking to you about you felt about her."

"Yes, I was." I said, stepping into the room.

I could feel the worry and regret radiating from Loki, but also the relief that I was okay. Thor seemed regretful, but still concerned, though I wasn't sure about what.

"Thor, I need to check Loki's back down, can you give us some privacy please?"

Thor stood and nodded, "I am sorry if I offended you Abigail." He sighed, "I care for you like a sister, I do care if you get hurt or not, but I will not interfere anymore."

"Thank you Thor." I smiled up at him, "I forgive you."

Thor hugged me and then left the room. I picked up the key from the dresser walked to the bed. I sat on the edge and slowly undid the cuffs. The moment I did I found myself hauled into Loki's arms and I slipped my arms around him too.

"I'm okay." I smiled, "I ended up in the library, I just sat by the fire and read, I'm sorry if I worried you."

He hugged me tighter for a second and I knew that was his way of saying, yes, I had worried him. I started running my fingers through his hair and he relaxed against me. I leaned back and kissed his forehead.

I helped him shift forward and looked at his back; surprisingly it was almost healed, eating something last night seemed to have helped a lot and as I ran my fingers down his back I could see more and more clear skin and less of the wounds. It didn't look like there would be much scaring which I was happy about. I could feel him shivering and gently slid my arms around him so my front was pressed to his back. I rested my hands against his chest and he quickly covered them with his own. I slowly pressed a kiss to the back of his neck, just where it met his back and he shuddered. I rested my cheek against his back and gently hugged him a bit tighter.

"You know we can't stay like this forever, the deal is after I check your back you have to be cuffed again, I'm sorry." I felt him squeeze my hands gently, but neither of us moved.

I sighed heavily, I didn't want to have to lock him back up but I knew I had no choice. I slowly moved away from his back and watched him with sad eyes as he slowly moved back enough that I could cuff his hands. I did them one at time and then settled next to him to read. He nudged me with his knee and I smiled, before starting to read aloud again.


	15. Flirting and Rewards

It had been three days since the new deal with Odin and I reached up to take Loki's muzzle off and was pleased to find that his lips were completely healed. I smiled at him and he smiled back, it was dazzling. I ran my fingers over his lips and watched his eyes darken.

"You should be careful what you do Abby." He said, his voice still a bit hoarse from disuse.

"Oh? Why's that?" I smirked at him. "What are you going to do Loki?"

We'd been harmlessly flirting over dinner the past few days, but given the glint in his eyes I was beginning to wonder if maybe it was bit less harmless on his end. Of course, the reaction that his look stirred in my body made me wonder if maybe it was less than harmless on my end as well.

"You want to know what I'll do once you loosen these chains?" he leaned closer to me, "First, I'll twist my hands in that silky hair, pull just hard enough to tip your head back, and kiss that soft, lovely neck of yours until you grow weak in the knees." He must have seen my shiver because he was smirking now, "Would you like that? I think you would, undo the cuffs Abby."

I'm still not sure why did what he asked, intellectually I knew I had to because he needed to eat but the look in his eyes made me wonder if it was good idea at this moment. I watched him lean back and then reached up and unlocked the cuffs. I was still close to him when he slid his hands into my hair and I gasped.

"Loki." I was shaking as he used my own hair to tilt my head back and expose my throat to him.

"Tell me to stop my sweet Abby, tell me you don't want this." He growled as he lowered his head towards me.

The heat in Loki's voice made my insides tremble, I hadn't lied about wanting him and our flirting and the gentle, almost innocent touches and kisses I'd been giving him as I cared for him had nothing but increase that desire.

The strength that Loki had recovered in three days was still a shock to me but I couldn't find a reason to stop him. His lips were like silk as he pressed them against my neck, just below my jaw. His kisses started off soft and teasing, but when I didn't stop him he got more aggressive. I was trembling in his arms as he used his lips and then started to nibble my neck.

"Loki…" my voice trembled and I was slightly embarrassed by it, "Please."

He stopped with his lips against the hollow of my throat and I could feel him smile against my skin.

"Please what?" he asked, his voice deeper than I was used to.

I shivered, not sure what I wanted. He leaned back a bit and then moved so we were face to face; I could see the lust burning in his eyes and felt my body heat with it.

"Say the word Abby," he whispered, "and I will not hold back my struggle for your lips."

"Loki…"

"Say it." He growled, his voice desperate with need.

"Yes." I closed my eyes and surrender to him.

His lips captured mine and I moaned; he teased and pleased with just soft and then hard presses of his lips and when I moaned again his tongue slid into my mouth and then back out, in again and then back out. He was mimicking another action I found myself wishing he was taking. I threaded my hands into his hair and kissed him back, moving my tongue against his and he growled low in his throat, enjoying the battle.

With no warning he pulled back and I gasped; watching the battle in his eyes. He was trembling and I could tell it wasn't all from desire, he'd worn himself out. We were both breathing heavy and I took the chance to get off the bed and grab his dinner for him. I could feel his eyes on me as I got the tray and walked back over to him.

"I am not hungry for food Abby." He said, watching me.

"I know, but you need to keep your strength up if you're going to recover properly." I said, using my "mom" voice.

He smiled at me, "if I eat, will you reward me for my good behaviour?"

"Guess you'll have to wait and find out." I smiled at him, "Please Loki, eat, for me?"

Loki nodded and started eating. I sat and watched him; the deal was that he wasn't to be left alone when he was unchained to make sure that he didn't try anything. When he was finished I took the tray away and smiled, he'd actually eaten everything.

"I'm glad to see your appetite seems to be returning." I said, turning back to him.

"So, do I get a reward?" he smirked at me and I slowly walked back over to the bed.

"Perhaps, after all, you were a very good boy." I placed my hands on his shoulders and slid them down his arms before taking his hands. "I wonder what kind of reward I should give you."

He was still smirking and didn't seem to realize that I'd already lifted one arm into reach of the cuff. I placed my lips against his ear.

"Should I let you kiss me again?" I murmured, "Would you enjoy that?"

_CLICK_

Loki jerked in surprise and tugged at the restraint. He glared at me and tried to resist as I tried to move his other arm.

"Loki, you know I have to." I said, "I wish I didn't. Please, my king."

I felt the shudder run through his body and his arm relaxed, making it possible to lift it and secure it in place. I slowly ran my tongue along the shell of his ear and then nipped at his earlobe. The moan he made lit me on fire and I smiled.

"A reward, for you good behaviour." I whispered, making him shiver. "Maybe you deserve another."

I slowly kissed along his jaw and then up to the corner of his mouth, where I licked teasingly before sealing my mouth to his. He bucked against the chains, straining to wrap his arms around me as I plunged my tongue into his mouth. He moaned into my mouth and I gripped his hair pulling away from his mouth and trailing my lips down his neck. He was gasping and shaking as I kissed and licked my way down his neck and then back up. I placed my hand on his cheek and whispered in to his ear.

"If you're a good boy tomorrow maybe I'll give you more." And I'm pretty sure I heard him whimper.

I picked up the muzzle and reluctantly put it back in place. He was looking at me like he wasn't sure if he wanted to fuck me or kill me and as I allowed my eyes to drift down his body I could see why. I leaned closer again and nipped his earlobe and he groaned behind the muzzle.

"Soon." I whispered, "Very soon, I think we will both get what we want so very badly."


	16. Revelations and Comfort

**Thanks everyone for your patience in my lack of posting over the holiday. I've got a few chapters written and I'm gonna try and get them edited and posted in the next couple of days. Hope everyone had a great Christmas, Hanukkah, Yule or whatever you do or don't celebrate.**

* * *

_Dear Diary,_

_Loki's punishment officially ends tomorrow and looking back on the last two and a half weeks, I think it's fair to say that I care for him a lot more than I probably should. Somehow he's slid under my skin and I find I like having him there. His punishment, the flogging mostly, has revealed something deeper in him. I can honestly say that I think the main reason he acts out, even if it is rather extreme, is because he feels betrayed and neglected. Volstagg doesn't realize it but in listening to the stories of their adventures, it seems like Loki was allowed to "tag along" because he was Thor's brother and occasionally, was able to talk them out of sticky situations._

_I wonder if any of them know the effect those centuries of this kind of mental abuse has had on the Prince. And then of course, to find out a few years ago that he wasn't even Odin's biological son, that he is a Frost Giant, a rather small one at that, that was abandoned, left to die by his father, that couldn't have made things any easier. He is truly fragile inside and I hope I can help him, I'm not sure why this is important to me but it is._

A jingle from the other room caught my attention and I put my pen down. I stretched my back and stood up.

"Coming." I called out and headed to the bedroom.

Loki watched me enter the room and the male approval and appreciation in his gaze made my body heat with awareness and lust. I sat at his side and ran my fingers down his arm.

"Are you okay?" I asked, watching his eyes.

He shook his head.

"Lonely?" I asked and embarrassment filled his eyes.

"Oh Loki," I slowly ran my hand down his side, "I'm sorry."

He nodded, a sign that he'd forgiven me. I moved to the other side of the bed and sat with my side against his, resting my head on his shoulder. He leaned his head down so his cheek was touching the top of my head.

"So your punishment is done tomorrow." I smiled even though he probably couldn't see me. "I guess you're looking forward to being able to get out of bed if you need to."

I could feel him nod against my head.

"I'm sure there are lots of things you're looking forward to being able to do again." I sighed, "I know your mother said that you could take months to recover, but I am so impressed with how much you've already recovered only eating once a day, I'm not sure she's right."

I felt him tense when I called Frigga his mother and I rubbed my hand on his thigh.

"Just because she didn't bear you doesn't mean she isn't your mother Loki; she raised you as her own, that has to count for something." I whispered, giving his thigh a light squeeze.

I felt him sigh and when I looked up there were tears in his eyes. There was a gentle knock on the door and I knew it was Fulla with dinner, I could tell by her emotions.

"I'll be right back." I gently wiped a tear from the corner of his eye and then slipped off the bed and went to get the door.

Fulla smiled at me, her blue eyes a little sad as she passed me the tray of food.

"What's wrong Fulla?" I asked.

"Well, I have been enjoying seeing you." She said, "After tomorrow Loki will be free."

"Yes." I nodded, "But he is still healing from his ordeal, we probably will not venture to the Dining hall for many more weeks."

"Oh." She blushed, "I had not realized he was so…"

"Do not say weak." I growled at her.

She blushed and started to stammer.

"You will be able to deliver three meals a day starting tomorrow and if you are respectful we can perhaps talk, but if I hear anyone speaking ill of Loki or the fact that he is going to need time to fully recover I will know who they heard it from." I watched her eyes widen, "He has taken enough strife and abuse in his life, I will not allow anyone else to hurt him."

Fulla nodded and apologized before leaving. I watched her walk down the hall and wondered for a moment if I was too hard on her. Deciding Loki's well-being was more important to me at the moment I closed the door and walked back to the bedroom. I saw Loki watching me approach and there was something in his gaze that made me blush.

"You heard that I'm assuming."

He nodded and I set the tray down on the table before picking up the keys and undoing his muzzle. I was reaching up to unlock his hands when my eyes met his green gaze and I froze.

"Loki?"

"No one has ever stood up for me like that." He whispered.

"Well they should have." I said, my voice hard, "You should always have someone willing to stand by you."

I reached up, without moving my gaze from his and unlocked his hands. His arms always trembled a bit after being tied up nearly all day and today was no different, but he wrapped them around me and held me close. I rested my cheek against his and felt the warmth of his tears against my skin.

"Will you be that person Abby?"

The question was so soft I almost didn't hear him speak; I slid my hand into his hair and rubbed his scalp, which I knew he liked. I felt him sigh more than heard it and swallowed thickly.

"Yes Loki I will, for as long as you want me to be."

"Thank you." He slipped his hand under my shirt, which he seemed to do whenever he need extra comfort.

We were still hugging when I heard someone clear their throat. I slowly pulled away and saw Thor standing in the door way.

"Abby," he said, blushing a bit, "my mother would like to see you at dinner. If you'd like, I will stay with Loki while he eats."

I looked between the brothers and finally settled my gaze on Loki. It was really up to him. If he didn't want me to go, I wouldn't.

"Go Abby," he smiled, "my mother cares for you a great deal, you have been good for our family. I will stay with Thor."

I nodded and, heedless of the fact that Thor was standing so close, I leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on his mouth.

"You be nice." I whispered, "I'll be back soon."

Loki trailed his fingers along my jaw, "For you, I will be."

I got off the bed and turned to Thor, "make sure he eats everything."

The blond god was staring at me strangely, but he nodded and walked closer to the bed. I saw Loki tense a bit and Thor must have seen it too because he stopped moving and just pointed to the tray of food.

"May I hand you the tray Loki?" he asked, watching his brother.

"Okay." Loki watched me around Thor and I nodded before leaving the bedroom.

I picked up a sweater from the couch on my way out of the room, wearing just the cami I had on wouldn't be appropriate so I slipped the sweater over my head as I walked down the hall and went to dinner. I entered and Frigga smiled at me. She stood as I walked up to the table and hugged me. We sat down and she was still smiling.

"We weren't sure if you'd come." Frigga said, watching me.

"Well, Thor said he'd stay with Loki and I have a feeling they have a lot to talk about." I said, taking some roast fowl and bread from the table.

"Yes, I suppose they do." Frigga sighed, "I think we all do."

I raised an eyebrow at Frigga, confused by the goddess's words.

"There are things that should have been handled much differently." She said and the sadness in her voice made my heart ache.

I reached out and took her hand, "The past cannot be changed, but the future can always be improved."

Frigga nodded and we went back to eating. Sif got my attention and started asking more questions about Midgard. I answered them all as honestly as I could and if I didn't know something I said as much. I'm not sure how long I sat at the table, eating and chatting but I looked up and Thor was walking into the room. I jumped to my feet as he reached the table.

"Thor?"

"Be still sister." He smiled, "Loki has eaten and is now resting, he said to tell you to take your time and rush not back on his account."

I slowly sat back down and tried to calm my racing heart. I looked at my plate and took a deep breath; I nodded to Thor and sighed. Sif got my attention again and I started joking with her and the Warriors Three, which I had to admit felt pretty good. It had been a while, nearly two and a half weeks, since I'd allowed myself to relax and I realized that I needed to do this more often. I couldn't take another attack like I'd had a week ago. I laughed as Fandral explained how he'd mistaken an Elven male as a female one time. I had tears in my eyes as the "Dashing" Warrior blushed red as he told the story. I wiped my eyes and saw Thor watching me. I knew he had questions but I couldn't answer them, not even to myself.

I stayed at dinner a lot longer than I'd expected and it was quite dark as I walked the halls. I was about halfway between the Dining Hall and Loki's rooms when Thor caught up with me.

"Sister, I would speak with you."

I stopped and turned to see the blond god walking towards me. I sighed, I didn't want to talk anymore, my throat was sore from laughing.

"Thor, I am tired."

"I am heading to my rooms, let us talk as we walk." He said placing his hand on my shoulder.

I nodded, not sure what there was to say.

"You have created great change in my brother." He said, "If anyone else were tending him I do not believe he would be doing so well."

"Oh?" I asked, watching his face.

"Well, I do not believe anyone else would have cared that he was not doing well last week." Thor sighed and I could tell his heart was heavy, "Loki has made a lot of enemies here on Asgard, but that was not entirely his fault."

I nodded, watching my friend speak.

"We talked as he ate and the things he said, they were the same as before, but the way he said them was different." Thor shook his head, "I never believed before that he was not treated as well as I."

"What changed?" I asked wondering what happened between the brothers.

"He was not accusatory; there was no blame in his voice." Thor shivered, "He sounded so small."

I nodded again, we were at the door of Loki's rooms.

"I bid you good night Sister." Thor hugged me, "Thank you."

"Thor," I watched the god, "I was not the only one, nor the only thing, that has brought about this change in Loki."

"His punishment," Thor sighed and nodded, "I saw the way he was after the flogging, but I think you kept him from despair."

"Perhaps." I yawned, "I am tired my brother in arms, I will see you tomorrow okay?"

Thor nodded and I opened the door to Loki's suite. I closed the door softly and leaned against it. I heard rattling and recognized it at Loki's chains. I sighed, he was awake and possibly checking to see if I was back.

"I'm home." I called out and the rattling stopped.

I walked through the living area of the suite, it had been cleaned while I was gone and I was happy about that. I stood in the doorway between the bedroom and the living room and watched the man on the bed. He was staring at me with confusion on his face, or least what I could see of it.

I walked closer and he rattled the chains again.

"You know I can't." I sighed, "We've already checked your back and you've eaten. You have to wait until tomorrow for them to come off for good."

He cocked an eyebrow as if to ask who would know the difference and I sighed again.

"I would know Loki." I said, sitting at his side. "It's just until tomorrow after breakfast."

I reached out and touched his chest, his heart beat strongly against my palm and I watched his eyes. I gently stroked his pale skin and watched the goose bumps break out along his skin.

"Your brother seems to think I've kept you from despair during your confinement." I said, watching his eyes widen and then flick shut. "Loki, have I?"

He opened his eyes and they were haunted; I had my answer. I picked up the key and undid his restraints before pulling him into my arms. He pressed his face into my neck and I ran my hand through his hair. He wrapped his arms around me and I felt him trembling.

"Oh Loki," I rocked him gently, "I'm here, I'll be here as long as you want me."

He tightened his hold on me and shook his head; I knew he was thinking of what would happen after he was deemed well enough to be without assistance. I also knew that Fury would want me back at some point and I sighed heavily, at this point we both had a feeling that our time together was limited, regardless of what else we wanted. I slowly leaned back and forced him to loosen his hold. I gently held his chin in my hand, feeling the cold metal of the muzzle.

"Loki, if you need me, you tell me and I will stay." I made sure he was looking me in the eye, "I will not leave you if you need me."

I could see the tears in his eyes and watched one leak from the corner of his left eye. I slowly leaned forward and kissed the tear, tasting the saltiness against my tongue. I felt him shiver as I pulled back and watched him. I had meant every word before dinner, just as I meant every word now.

"I swear to you Loki, I will not leave you as long as you either have need of me or want me to be here." I took his hand and gripped it tightly, "I swear to you, I will be by your side until you tell me to leave."

He nodded and pulled me into his arms, rolling us so that we were spooned together again. We hadn't been able to lie like this since his new punishment was arranged and I shivered.

"Never let me go?" I whispered and he tightened his hold.

He had his chin resting on top of my head and I felt him shake his head. I rested my hands on top of his and gave them a gentle squeeze.

"Good." I sighed, happy, "Because I'm not letting you go either."


	17. Punishment Ends

I was curled on my side when I woke up and I yawned; I stretched a bit and then turned to my other side and watched the man beside me. His face was turned towards mine as he slept and his arms were stretched above his head, but I didn't remember locking him back up. I kissed his forehead and his eyes blinked open.

"Good morning." I smiled at him, "Did you lock yourself back up last night?" He nodded and I laughed, "I'm going to get dressed and then head to breakfast." I ran my hand teasingly and down one arm. "Then your father and I will come back and remove everything for the final time."

He nodded again and I smiled once more before climbing off the bed and heading to the bathroom to change. I exited shortly after I entered and Loki's eyes were smiling. I gently kissed his forehead as I left the room and walked to the hall. I sat next to Frigga as usual and my glass was already full of water and the foods I ate most often were within my grasp. I ate in silence until Odin addressed me.

"How is my son this morning Abigail?"

"He is well Allfather." I smiled, "but I think he is more than ready for his punishment to be over."

Odin nodded, "Please, Abigail, you do not need to refer to me as Allfather, Odin is perfectly acceptable."

"As you wish." I nodded to him in respect.

"I do." He smiled at me, "You have brought about a great change in my son. The care and forgiveness you have shown him is a remarkable thing."

I found myself blushing at Odin's words, I knew they were all grateful for me helping Loki but it was all a bit much. I lowered my eyes to my food and had just taken a sip of water when the hall doors banged open. We all jumped up as a very angry Nick Fury strode into the hall with a suited up Tony Stark, Clint Barton and a very apologetic looking Steve Rogers.

"Director, what is the meaning of this disrespect?" Thor's voice echoed through the hall.

"I've come to get my Agent back." Fury said, stopping just shy of the head table.

I walked around the table to stand at Thor's side. "I'm not going anywhere." Thor placed his hand on my shoulder and I heard Sif and the Warriors Three stand.

"You have work to do Agent Larsen." Fury said, watching me while I saw Clint and Tony eyeing the room.

"My work is here." I said, keeping my voice steady. "If you force my hand Nick, I will resign."

Fury blinked, "You'll what?"

"I'll quit and stay on Asgard for the rest of my natural life, which given the gifts that Odin bestowed my great-great-great-grandmother should be about three hundred years." I stated, watching him blink again.

Odin placed his hand on my shoulder and I turned to face him. "How did I not see it before?" he touched my cheek and smiled, "Welcome, granddaughter."

"Grandfather." I smiled up at him, "This realm is my home as much as Midgard, if you would truly make me choose, I would choose Asgard." I took a deep breath, "I made an oath to follow the ways of my ancestors long ago and I will not turn my back on that for anything. I made a pact with Odin Allfather that I would witness his son's punishment and then help heal his son to show him the truest of mercies and help him to understand Midgard better, and I will not break that vow either."

Fury nodded, Clint looked pissed, Steve was smiling at me but I couldn't see Tony's face.

"Tony, take the mask off, I can't see what you're thinking."

"No, but you can feel it." He said, his turning towards me.

"I want to see it."

He popped the visor open and his eyes were sad. "You'd really stay here?"

"My mother is my only family and she turned her back on me when she found out Phil and I were working together; this is the only family I have." I answered and felt Odin place his hand on my shoulder.

Tony nodded, "Come on Nick, let her stay a while, there's nothing we can't handle without her."

I sighed, "Reverse psychology will not work on me Tony."

He smiled, "I know, worth a try though."

"How did you get here?" Thor asked, "I had thought you did not have the technology to travel between realms."

"Hello, genius here, I sorta tinkered and figured it out." Tony was smiling, "So we can come visit now, provided you guys are okay with that."

"I would like to stay in touch." I said, smiling at him. "Steve, it's okay." I turned to my friend, "I know you tried."

He smiled at me, "Thanks Abby."

"Now Director Fury, if there is nothing else, Odin and I have something to take care of."

Nick nodded, I could tell he hated coming out on what he felt was the losing side. I said my good byes to my friends and Sif and the Warriors Three escorted them out of the hall along with Thor who needed to speak to them anyway. I turned to Odin.

"I apologize for their disrespect; I didn't know they would go to such lengths."

"You could not have known how they would act Abby," he smiled at me, "you need not apologize."

I nodded and together we walked out of the hall and towards Loki's suite.

~A~A~A~A~A~

The punishment ended without much ceremony. Odin watched as I unlocked the cuffs and then the muzzle. I handed them back to the Allfather and he left the room. Shortly after Fulla arrived with breakfast for Loki then left. Loki sat up shakily and I smiled at him.

"How does it feel to be a free man?" I asked, "Sorry, free god."

He smiled back at me as he picked up an apple slice. "Good."

His hand trembled as he tried to raise it to his mouth and I could see the shame in his eyes. I placed my hand over his and helped raise it up to his mouth. He closed his eyes but bit the apple, as he chewed I lowered his hand and took the rest of the apple from between his fingers.

"You have been chained up and without proper food for two and a half weeks, that would have killed every mortal I know, don't be ashamed that you're not one hundred percent." I told him and he looked at me with sad eyes.

"I am a god." He whispered, "I am unused to being weak."

I pick up a grape off the tray and raised it to his lips, "You're not weak." I whispered.

He opened his mouth and I gently popped the grape between his lips. He licked my fingers and I smiled. We'd been flirting a lot more since our first kiss a few days ago and I was actually enjoying it. I watched him eat but was a bit concerned. He was still shivering as he chewed.

"You're back is healed enough that you should be okay to wear a shirt if you want." I said, feeding him a piece of bread with cheese. "Do you want me to get you one?"

"Do I disgust you so much?" he whispered; his voice was so soft I almost didn't hear him.

"What?" this questioned seemed to come out of nowhere.

I had told Loki many times over the days we'd spent together how handsome I found him and much I desired him. There had been times I'd been just as aroused as he was after our kisses, I had no idea why he was asking me this now.

"I know I am frail and weak." He sighed, "I did not know my appearance was so diminished."

I turned his face to mine, "You are extremely handsome, and you know I do not lie." I rubbed his cheek with my thumb, "You are shivering, so I thought you might be cold."

"I am a bit," He sighed, "but I am always cold."

"Do you want a shirt?" I asked still stroking his cheek.

"Please."

I placed a gentle kiss on his cheek and moved to the wardrobe. I found a beautiful green long-sleeved shirt and brought it back to the bed. Being careful not to knock over the food I helped him sit up a bit and slip the shirt on. He stopped shivering a little and I sat back down and helped him finish his breakfast.

I put the tray in the living quarters where I knew Fulla would find it and walked back into bedroom. Loki was toying with the hem of his shirt.

"What's wrong?" I asked, only able to discern confusion from him.

"You confuse me." he said, watching as I walked closer and sat at his side.

"How so?"

"You should hate me, not desire and want to help me."

"I wanted to." I told him honestly, "I really wanted to; when I held Phil's hand, knowing there was nothing I could do to save him, I wanted to hate you. I came here wanting know you'd be locked up for eternity, that you could never hurt anyone again."

"Asgardian justice is not what you imagined?"

"No." I sighed, "Thor mocked us for "pretending" to be civilized, but your punishments, your so-called justice is more barbaric than ours. When I saw that whip, when I saw that beast in the guise of a man, I was disgusted, I was nearly sick to my stomach. When Odin said your mouth was to be sewn shut, I nearly vomited on the floor."

Loki was watching me curiously, "What do you people do to murderers?"

"It depends on the area, but most are locked up for the rest of their lives." I sighed, "There are some places that for certain kinds for murder, the person is put to death."

Loki nodded, "What do you mean "certain kinds" of murder?"

"Well, like, if you planned to kill a specific person or if you went out with the intent to kill someone or a group of people." I explained, "if you kill someone by accident, the justice system can be more lenient."

"Ah, I see." He smiled, "Will you tell me more of your world, now that I can ask questions?"

I smiled, "Certainly."

We spent the next couple hours with Loki asking questions about Earth, the different countries and many other things.

"I am tired." He whispered after I finished explaining about cars.

"So rest." I was trying not to laugh at him, he seemed so regretful. "You've been through a great deal that last few days. I can read, it won't bother me if you sleep."

Loki slowly nodded and I helped him get comfortable. "Abby, may I…may I hold you?"

"Yes." I moved so I was closer to him and he pulled me into his arms.

We were spooned together again and I felt him press his lips to my hair like he had the last time we'd laid like this. I sighed happily as he rested his hand on my stomach.

"I like having you here." He whispered, his voice getting heavy with fatigue, "it feels right."

"Yes, it does."

I listened to his even breathing and wondered if he'd heard me. Deciding it didn't matter I closed my eyes took a nap with the god I was pretty sure I was falling in love with.


	18. Truth and Tenderness

When I woke I could feel Loki's hand against my stomach and shivered a bit; his fingers were moving slowly, almost as if he was drawing designs and I sighed softly.

"I did not mean to wake you." His voice was so close to my ear I trembled.

"You didn't."

"Are you cold?"

"A bit," He started to move his hand but I placed mine over top of his. "Don't."

"You like my touch?" he still seemed surprised.

"I do." I slowly rolled and felt his hand slide around my side and settle against my back, "I'd be a fool not to enjoy being touched by so gentle a hand, by such a handsome man, by a god."

His eyes closed slowly, "Please, do not tease me with such kind words."

"I do not tease." I reached up and tucked a lock of hair behind his ear, "I mean every word."

His eyes slowly opened again, searching mine and I let him see how much I truly desired him and enjoyed his touch. The vulnerability in his gaze slid into my soul and made me ache for him. I let my hand roam along his arm and then back up to his neck.

"You are a special woman Abigail." He whispered and I found I didn't mind hearing my more formal name from his lips. "You have been such a soothing presence for me; I do not know how to thank you for all you have done."

"No thanks are needed." I left my hand resting on his neck, "You have been a soothing presence for me too Loki."

"I have?"

I smiled and nodded. I slowly moved closer to him, not that I could get much closer and watched his eyes. I stroked his neck with my thumb.

"Abby?" he whispered my name.

"Yes Loki?"

"Why do you stay?"

I blinked, that was not the question I was expecting. I wasn't sure how to explain how I felt but I knew I had to try.

"Originally?" I sighed, "I stayed because I couldn't handle the pain you were in. Being an Empath I can feel emotions from others and your pain was so great that I had to find a way to make it less." I slipped my hand into his hair, "You were so…" I hesitated.

"Broken." He whispered, "You said you wanted to see me break and I did. I have never been so reduced as those moments during and just after the flogging."

"I know." I had tears in my eyes, "It broke my heart, as I said we don't punish offenders like that on Midgard. That's when I realized that I forgave you, you didn't know me, didn't know Phil, he was in your way and you did what you thought you had to."

"I wish I had not caused you that pain." He whispered and I could see the true regret in his eyes.

"I know you do Loki and that is another reason why I forgave you." I was playing with a lock of his hair, "I had to try so hard not to say something to Odin when they sewed your mouth shut; feeling your pain, your embarrassment at the sounds you were making, I don't know if you remember or not, but I was crying."

"I remember." He had slid his hand under my shirt again, "I was greatly confused by your sympathy."

"It's part of my gift, Thor tried explaining it to Sif, but if I see someone's hurt, I can't not help; it's not in my nature to let someone suffer, not matter what they may have done." I smiled sadly, "Those first few days, having to leave you when I went to eat was so hard because I was scared you would need me when you couldn't tell me."

"Why do you stay now?" he asked; his fingers were making small circles on my back.

"I stay because I've grown to care for you." I answered honestly, "You've let me in, you've let me see beyond the pain to the person you are deep inside and I like that person Loki."

"I find myself wanting to be a better person when I am around you." He whispered and he seemed embarrassed about that.

"There's nothing wrong with wanting to improve yourself; it's what makes people great." I was still playing with his hair, "If I can, I will help you."

"May I kiss you?" he asked, it was first time he'd ever asked for any affection from me, normally we just took what we wanted from each other.

"Yes."

He pressed me closer with his hand on my back and I gasped as I felt the desire he felt for me; he slowly captured my lips in the sweetest kiss I had ever experienced. His lips were so soft against mine at first it was like he wasn't even touching me but as I sighed and shifted so I could keep my hand tangled in his hair he pressed harder and licked my lips.

"More." I whispered and opened myself to him.

He slowly, almost languidly slid his tongue into my mouth and his hand slid down my back to cup my ass. I moaned as he pulled my hips closer and I felt him press intimately to me. Loki had such long legs that our hips were almost equal when we lay down together. I lifted my leg and draped it over his hips, pulling him even closer than he was holding me. I slid my tongue against his and gently rocked my hips, drawing a moan from him. Every movement was tender, every touch slow and sweet.

We slowly pulled apart and I closed my eyes; I was overcome with emotion and wasn't sure what I would see on Loki's face. He gently stroked my cheek and I opened my eyes.

"Never have I felt this way." He whispered and I saw him trembling.

"Nor have I Loki." I placed my hand on his side and gently stroked his skin. "I never thought I would feel this way about anyone."

"What way is that?" he asked and there was fear in his eyes.

"As if I couldn't live without him." I whispered, watching his eyes widen. "I look forward to seeing you each morning, to falling asleep in your arms each night; your smile and seeing joy in your eyes when you look at me, makes me happy."

"Holding you in my arms as you sleep makes me happy too Abby." He had moved his hand to my shoulder, "Seeing you here, knowing you will come back when you leave, it has saved me from a great pain and despair these past two and a half weeks."

"I am glad I could be here for you my prince." I slid my hand up to the back of his shoulder.

"Your prince?" he seemed shocked.

"Um…" I wasn't sure where that term of endearment had come from and I was actually kind of shocked.

"Do you want me to be yours?"

"I…" I really didn't know what to say, "Only if you want to be."

"And what would being yours mean?" he reached up to tuck a stray lock of hair behind my ear.

"Whatever we want it to." I answered honestly, "But you are special to me Loki, I wish I could tell the all the nine realms that you are important to me and anyone that wishes to harm you or cause you pain will have to deal with one very pissed off woman should they do so."

"Do you think I need you defend me?" he seemed shocked and a little angry.

"No." I sighed, "I know you are more than capable of defending yourself." I had a feeling I'd crossed a line with him.

"Then what, do you want me to belong to you, like some piece of property?" he was getting angry.

"No Loki." I scrambled back from the dark emotions in his eyes.

"Do you fear me now?" he asked, his face turning red, "Am I such a monster you would turn from me? You, who only moments ago held me close as if you would be my lover?"

I froze. I watched the anger, the pain and too many other emotions to name flowed across the face of the god I now realized I did love. He was in such turmoil and I didn't know how to fix it. Anything I said could make him angrier or hurt him.

"Loki, you are not a monster." I whispered, "And I am not afraid of you." I sighed, "I…you can tell if I am lying, you will know that the words I speak are the truth."

"I can and I will." He was trembling.

"Loki," I slowly moved closer to him again, reaching out I cupped his chin and guided his face to look at me, "the truth is, I love you."

The anger and pain his face instantly transformed to shock and confusion; being the god of lies, he knew I wasn't lying and he was trying to figure out how I could possibly love him.

"Love doesn't have to make sense Loki." I whispered, "No one can help who they love."

"So you would not love me if you had the choice?" he asked, the anger in his voice disguising the pain I knew he was feeling.

"I would love you more." I whispered, "Though I do not believe that is possible."

"I do not understand." He was watching me with confusion written all over his face, but also a good deal of fear in his emotions.

"Neither do I, but I would not change any of it if I could." I told him, reaching out with a trembling hand I ran my fingers down his jaw, "I love you Loki, nothing will change that."

He closed his eyes and I knew he was thinking of his Jotun blood; I could feel his fear spike and I had a feeling it was fear that I would be disgusted by his Frost Giant side. I had read stories of the battles with the Frost Giants and I knew that they had blue skin and blood red eyes.

I wondered if Loki would ever trust me enough to show me that side of him; but I knew I couldn't push him. He hated himself enough for being a Frost Giant, so he wouldn't show me his "true" form easily. I gently stroked his cheek, feeling him pull me closer.

"I am sorry." He whispered, "I am unused to kindness."

"I know." I held him close, "But that won't stop me from being kind to you."

"I am glad." His hand slid under my shirt and laid it against my back. "Perhaps you can help me learn to be kind in turn."

"Nothing would make me happier." I gently kissed his lips and he drew me into his arms.

He held me close and I wondered if he knew he already knew how to be kind, at least to me. We lay, holding each other, until there was a knock on the door and I slowly drew back.

"It's probably Fulla with your lunch." I said, giving him a gentle kiss.


	19. What Are You Trying to Say

**Phantom105- thanks for the review! Yeah, Loki is definitely tugging my heartstrings right now!**

**A/N: The end of this chapter absolutely came out of nowhere, had no idea what was going to happen and um...yeah...working on how I'm gonna figure it out from here so please...be patient!**

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I opened the door and smiled at Fulla; she had a large tray set with a couple of plates and the food. I thanked her for bringing it and she smiled and nodded. She left and I closed the door. I set the tray on the table between the couches and chairs in the living area. I walked back to the bedroom and saw Loki still lying on the bed.

"Do you think you're strong enough to walk out to the living room?" I asked, watching him roll over to look at me.

"I can try."

He slowly swung his legs over the side of the bed and sat up. He was shaking a bit and I moved closer. He watched me heading towards him and held up his hand. I stopped where I was.

"I need to know." He whispered and I sighed.

"Loki, it hasn't been that long, you shouldn't push yourself." I said and he glared at me.

"I am not weak." He growled and I rolled my eyes.

"No one is saying you are." I said, watching him plant his feet on the floor, "But if you fall I cannot lift you on my own."

He stopped moving and watched me with cautious eyes. He sighed and nodded.

"Okay, I will accept your help."

I moved closer and he wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling me closer. I hugged him a bit and then slowly knelt down so he could drape his arm around my shoulder. I slipped mine around his waist and slowly, together we drew him to his feet. He trembled a bit, but not as badly as he had the last time we did this. Slowly, because he hadn't been on his feet since before his punishment, we walked to the living room. He was shaking pretty badly by the time we got to the couch so I helped him sit down and got him a glass of water from the tray. His hand was shaking too badly to take it from me so I held it to his lips and he drank most of it before pushing it away.

"Thank you Abby." He smiled at me, "There are few who would be this willing to serve me."

I smiled back at him, "Then they are fools." I replied.

I set the water down and picked up some bread and meat, making like a mini-sandwich I held it up to him and he accepted the food. I slowly fed him from the one plate, taking time to eat some food myself and I watched him looking out the window as we ate. He had been confined to his bed for two and a half weeks so I knew he had probably missed seeing the city.

"Come here." He grabbed my hand as I bent closer to the table again and tugged me against his side. "I have had enough for now."

I leaned against him and placed my hand on his knee and rested my head on his shoulder. It was quite peaceful and I realized that I didn't want to leave him, ever. I was in love with him and I had a feeling that I would be resigning from S.H.I.E.L.D. at some point. I felt him start to play with my hair.

"Your hair is getting longer." He whispered and I smiled.

"Yes, I'm not sure I like it, I usually keep it shorter."

"I think you would be beautiful with long hair." He seemed surprised that he's spoken.

"You think so?" I leaned back and watched his face.

"Oh yes." He smiled down at me, "I think I would like to see you with long hair, if you would be willing to grow it out."

"For you, I would." I smiled a bit sadly, "But it takes a long time for my hair to grow."

"Oh." He seemed to understand what I meant, "You may be gone before it is long."

I turned myself closer to him and placed my hand on his chest. I sighed and watch him.

"It's possible, though I don't want to leave."

"I do not want you to leave either." He slowly lowered his head, "I cannot imagine you not being here."

"I can't imagine not being here either." I said and lifted my head to meet his lips.

He cupped my chin with his hand and slowly moved his lips against mine. I was still shocked at how sweet and tender he was being this afternoon but I wasn't going to complain. I moved my head to allow him to deepen the kiss and heard a small whimper and realized it came from me.

"You make the most amazing sounds my Abby." He whispered, pulling back from me.

"Your Abby?" I questioned, watching the shock play across his face.

"If I am to be yours, should you not be mine?" he asked, his voice hoarse and there was something in his emotions that shocked me.

"Loki," I watched his eyes, "do you want me to be yours?"

"Yes." He pulled me closer and sealed his lips to mine again.

This kiss was a possession and I gave into it; I opened myself to him and let him plunder my mouth. I gripped his shoulders, felt the muscles bunch as he hauled me into his lap so that I was straddling him. His hands moved to my ass and clenched against me. I moaned as he thrust his tongue into my mouth repeatedly and moved my hands from his shoulders to his hair. I clung to him as he held me close and gave me passion like I'd never felt before.

His head fell back suddenly and I could see his chest heaving. I lowered my head to his shoulder and tried to calm my own breathing. I ran a finger down his neck and felt him shiver.

"Loki?"

"Yes Abby."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course." He had moved one of his hands from my ass to my back.

"Why do you want me to be yours?" I kept my voice soft, but I knew that the answer would change everything.

"I…" he hesitated and I knew it was because he was scared.

"You can trust me Loki." I whispered, "I will not hurt you if can I help it."

He shifted so we were face to face and eye to eye. "Abby," he took my hand and placed it on his chest, over his heart, "I have never felt about anyone the way I feel about you. You stood by me during the worst time in my life, you didn't run from my weaknesses, you embraced them and helped me to understand that they are not something to be ashamed of. I enjoy falling asleep with you in my bed and waking up to find you still there." He sighed, "It is not easy for me to talk about my feelings, I do not trust easily but you have earned it."

"Loki, what are you trying to say?" I was trembling in his arms.

"Abigail," he smiled when I screwed my nose up, "I believe…what I am trying to say…is that…I love you."


	20. Doubts and Understanding

**A/N: Okay, so I wasn't originally gonna post this until the New Year, but Muse has been in a writing mood and I'm a few chapters ahead now so I thought I'd be nice and post one more chapter before 2013. Hope everyone has a safe and happy new year's eve tomorrow!**

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I was stunned silent, there was no other way to describe how I felt when Loki said that. I watched his face and saw no sign of deceit; his emotions were honest as well. He was watching me too and I knew I needed to say something soon or he would think I was rejecting him, even though I had told him I loved him earlier.

"Oh Loki," I smiled and kissed him gently, "I love you too."

He hugged me close and I pressed my face against his neck, feeling tears of joy filling my eyes. I had never thought, hadn't allowed myself to wish for a second, that he would love me back. I hadn't even been sure he was capable of it, simply because he'd never been shown much love. I slipped a hand into his hair and gently stroked the back of his head and neck. He sighed softly and I felt his hand slip under my shirt.

"Abby," he whispered and I could feel his emotions go into turmoil; "will you…be mine?"

"What does being yours entail?" I asked the question he'd asked of me earlier.

"What do you want it to entail Abby?"

"I…I'm not sure." I sighed, "I don't know how relationships work here on Asgard, or if you even want this to be a relationship."

"You said you wanted to be able to tell the nine realms that you care for me," he watched me and I nodded, "I want the same thing."

"You…you do?" I was stunned again.

"Yes Abigail," he smiled as I crinkled my nose again, "I want everyone to know that I love you, that you are my…" he hesitated, "I am not sure the word that would fit actually."

"Well, if we are to be equals…girlfriend is the term that we use on Midgard." I smiled at him.

"Why would I not want you to be my equal sweet Abby?"

"Well, you did try to conquer my world, I know you don't have high regard for most humans." I said and my stomach sank a bit as I remembered that, "You think yourself above us."

I moved myself off his lap and stood up before starting to pace the room.

"Abby, what troubles you?"

"You hate humans." I stopped and looked at him, "You killed eighty people in two days, you murdered my father, and you…you tried to rule us. You think we crave subjugation, that the freedoms that make us who we are, are a lie." I shook my head and felt my eyes filling with tears. "How could you possibly want me to be your equal?"

I could feel the confusion from Loki and it did upset me, but I was so confused myself that I almost didn't care that he was just as confused. I could see his forehead crinkle as he tried to think about what I had said.

"Abby," he forced himself shakily to his feet, "you are special. You are not like any other human I've ever met. I do not think myself above you, how could I after what has happened?"

I watched him take a slightly unsteady step towards me and backed up. I knew that his punishment had changed him, but for some reason now I wondered if perhaps the change was too drastic, too sudden, too all encompassing.

Loki stopped moving and placed his hand on the armrest of one of the chairs in room. I could feel his pain and confusion, I wanted to reach out and tell him it would be okay but I didn't know if I could. How could I? All the conflicting emotions that had plagued me at the beginning of my time with Loki were coming back to haunt me. How could I love this man, this god, who had attacked us for no reason? As I watched his emerald eyes fill with sorrow, something that had been bothering me flashed back into my mind.

"Loki, why are your eyes green?"

He seemed even more confused, "My eyes are always green."

"No, when you were in New York they were blue." I watched him closely, "They were almost the same colour as Hawkeye's after you used that sceptre on him." He flinched, "You said before, when you killed Phil that you were in the grip of the sceptre…"

"Yes." He hung his head and I saw him starting to tremble again. "I was."

The heartache I felt from him confused me, "Loki, were you in complete control of yourself in New York?" I was almost scared to hear the answer.

"No." he slowly sank into the chair he'd been leaning on, "No, I wasn't."

I remembered sitting at the table on the helicarrier with the rest of the Avengers, watching Fury talking to Loki and the look on Thor's face. He'd known something was wrong but couldn't place his finger on it.

"What did they do to you?" I asked, since I hadn't really known much about Loki before meeting Thor, "What happened to you after you fell?"

"I had thought I would die." He said honestly, "I found myself somewhere not in the nine realms. That is where I met The Other and his Master."

"Loki, what did they do to you?"

"They tortured me." the words were so soft I almost didn't hear them.

"Oh gods." I walked over to him and dropped to my knees in front of him, "Tell me?"

"Heat." He whispered and my heart broke, "Heat is not a good thing for a Frost Giant."

"No, I wouldn't think it would be." I whispered and took his hand again, "Why would they do that?"

"Mostly, I think to see what would happen. They'd never seen anything like me before." He gave a derisive laugh, "When I was low and weak, that's when they used the sceptre and then gave it to me so I would always be under their influence but also, so I could use it to help them get the Tesseract." He shuddered, "The Other told me that He would find me if I failed to get them the Tesseract." I watched the horror in his eyes, "He said that his Master would make me long for something sweet as pain if I failed them."

I wrapped my arms around him, "Tony blew them up my love; they can't hurt you anymore."

"I wish I could be certain." He held me close and I felt him shaking with fear. "Abby, my darling, please believe me when I say that I have changed, that I no longer feel above humanity."

"Why not?" I asked, almost desperate to believe him.

"Because of you my love." He gently moved me back so I could see his eyes, "You have shown me so much about your people, and about Midgard that I never knew; so how could I feel above a people so capable of compassion and understanding?"

"My love." I whispered and kissed him softly, he threaded his hand into my hair and I sighed as he pulled me closer.

I moved with him until I was straddling his lap again and he tilted his head back, giving me control of the kiss. I was startled for a minute because this had never happened before but as he slipped his hands under my shirt I knew this was his way of proving that he loved me, that he wanted me to be his equal. I gently held his chin in my hand and slid my tongue into his mouth, earning a groan from the god beneath me.

A knock on the door jolted us from our kiss and I leaned back slowly, watching the smile on his face turn to something akin to annoyance. I slipped from his lap and kissed his cheek.

"It's probably just Fulla to collect the tray." I smiled and opened the door.

I was right, the petite blonde stood in the hall and I let her in. She froze when she saw Loki sitting in the chair but recovered quickly.

"It is nice to see you up, my lord." She gave him a respectful smile and bent to pick up the tray.

"Thank you Fulla." He smiled at her and I could feel her confusion.

"Yes, thank you Fulla." I smiled, "We'll see you in a few hours for dinner."

The blonde nodded and left the rooms; I closed the door behind her and smiled at Loki.

"That was very nice of you to thank Fulla." I walked closer to him and realized he was holding his hand out to me.

"She does not need to do what she is doing for us," he smiled; "you have made me more appreciative of such kindness from others."

I took his hand and he pulled me into his lap. I curled myself around him as best I could on the chair and smiled softly.

"So, my love, will you be my…" he hesitated, "you said the word is girlfriend, correct?"

"Yes, that would be the word." I whispered, playing with the collar of his shirt.

"What word would describe me in that context?"

"Boyfriend." I laughed, "it has nothing to do with age or maturity, it's just the terms that are used."

"So, will you be my…" he chuckled, "girlfriend?"

"Yes." I laughed too, it felt like we were in high school or something.

I felt his hand slip under my shirt to cup my side and pressed my lips gently against his neck. We stayed where we were, not saying much for a while.

"Loki?"

"Yes Abby?"

"What happens now?"

"I…do not know." He held me close, "I just know that I do not want to lose you."

"Me either." I rested my hand on his shoulder and tried not to think of what the future would hold.


	21. Dear Diary

**A/N: Alrighty, got a bit more done on Broken so I'm going to keep working on this one now. This is basically a "filler" chapter, showing flashes of the burgeoning relationship between Abby and Loki, now that they both realize that they love each other and that Loki really has changed. Also, shows a bit of Loki's more stubborn traits peeking through...hope you all enjoy!**

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_Dear Diary,_

_So much has happened that I scarcely know where to begin. I guess Loki and I are "officially" a couple, but since the only person we see on a regular basis is Fulla I'm not sure how I feel about it. Loki is becoming freer with his affections and I like it. We lay in bed last night and he played with my hair as I read to him. I don't even think he realized he was doing it; he even kissed my forehead and then seemed shocked that he'd done it._

_The other night, after he told me he loved me, I helped him to the bathroom so he could bathe properly for the first time since his punishment began and before I left him in the shower he kissed me so sweetly that I think I actually cried from it. I'm not sure what to make of this new Loki, but I like him. _

_He's in the shower again because he's decided to try to keep his strength up. It's only been four days and I think he's pushing himself to hard, but he's insisting he needs to keep in shape so he does push-ups and other exercises, which I think I enjoy watching just a tad too much._

_I'm still trying to figure out how and when to tell Loki about my ancestors and of course, about how I'm going to be leaving S.H.I.E.L.D. and asking Odin if I can live the rest of my life on Asgard. My grandmother always said I had a special destiny, if only she knew! I also have to figure out how, if Odin will let me stay, how I'm going to tell my friends. I hate that this will hurt Steve; I know he thinks he loves me but I'm not so sure, either way, having to tell him I'm in love with Loki, that we're a couple and…gods help me, that I want to be more than just his girlfriend, I'm not sure Steve will understand that._

"Abby my love, where are you?"

I heard Loki's voice from the other room and set down my pen and closed the journal I'd created.

"In the living room." I called back and stood, heading towards the bedroom, "Is everything alright?"

"Yes darling, just thought you'd already be in bed at this hour." I heard him walking closer and met him in the door way.

"Just needed to do my journal for tonight." I smiled and slid my arms around his neck as he embraced me.

"Ah, well, I can understand that." He kissed me softly and then led me back to the bed.

He'd already pulled the covers back and I smiled, we hadn't actually both slept under the covers yet and as I watched him slid between them I wondered if this was going to change things again.

"Loki?" I questioned, watching him open his arms.

"Join me, my love?"

He was scared I would say no, I could see it clearly on his face without having to check his emotions which I could read clearly anyway.

"Yes."

I slid into the bed and into the arms of the god I loved and let him hold me close. I drifted off to sleep, warm and secure and truly happy for the first time in a very long time.

~A~A~A~A~A~A~A~A~

_Dear Diary,_

_Loki had a setback yesterday. We woke up together, which was lovely but after his workout he fell. I was still in bed, watching him do his routine and I could tell he was pushing himself too hard, but he wouldn't listen. Looks like men, regardless if Midgardian or Asgardian, are all incredibly stubborn. He was shaking a bit after his push-ups and when he stood up he stumbled a bit and then well…he fainted. He has a nice goose egg now and he's been resting since yesterday morning. I feel horrible, but at the same time I am so frustrated with him. I understand that he is a god, long lived and what not, but he had been through hell the past few weeks and I just wish he'd stop pushing himself so hard._

A knock on the door drew my attention from my diary and I stood to get the door. Frigga was standing there and I was a bit surprised but I smiled at the goddess and let her in.

"Thank you Abby." She smiled, "How is Loki today?"

"He's okay." I smiled, "He's resting in the other room if you'd like to see him."

"That would be nice." She headed toward the bedroom and paused, "You are welcome to join me."

"No my lady, I think perhaps it would be nice if you two had some time together." I smiled and picked up a light leather jacket that Stark had brought for me, "The lady Sif has been offering me some sparing lessons; I believe I will go find her."

Frigga nodded and smiled in thanks.

~A~A~A~A~A~A~A~A~

"Oof!" I landed with a rather hard thud and my breath wooshed out of my lungs again. "Okay, what did I do wrong this time?" I looked up at Sif and she smiled.

"You still lead with your eyes." She laughed and helped me back up.

I groaned as I settled onto my feet again and Sif handed me back my staff. I leaned heavily on it and wondered how long I had been with the warriors this afternoon. I sighed and smiled at Sif who did not even look winded. I shook my head.

"I think I shall never be a match for you my friend." I smiled at her and she laughed.

"Perhaps not, but you have still greatly improved since you got here."

I nodded my thanks and accepted a glass of water from Fandral. I drank it quickly and motioned for another, which he got me just as quickly. I took my time with the second glass and smiled at the four Asgardians who were slowly becoming my friends.

"Ah, Abby, there you are!" Thor's voice boomed through the room and I turned to watch my friend walking towards me.

"I told Frigga where I was going," I sighed, "What's wrong?"

"Loki is asking for you." He shook his head, "and you missed lunch."

I turned to Volstagg who just shrugged, normally the rotund warrior would have told us when it was time to eat.

"You were having too much fun." He blushed the same shade as his hair.

I nodded, "That is true." I shook their hands and turned to Thor, "I shall return to your brother then, if he has need of me."

I put my staff back and headed back to Loki's rooms; I wondered, as I headed back, did the fact that we were a couple, and I had been living with him for nearly three weeks make them "our" rooms. I decided I didn't want to know how he felt about that. The trip was pretty silent and I liked it that way. The guard was no longer posted outside of Loki's door and I was very happy that had ended when the punishment had.

The living room was empty when I got back so I headed into the bedroom saw Loki staring at the ceiling. He turned his head at the sound of my footsteps and his face brightened immediately.

"Abby." He held his hand out to me and I took as I neared the bed.

"Yes my love?" I smiled down at him, hating the bruise and lump on his forehead.

"I missed you, where did you go?"

"Your mother didn't tell you?" I smiled, "The Lady Sif offered me some sparing lessons and I thought you and Frigga might like some time alone so I decided to take Sif up on her offer. I didn't think I'd be gone quite so long."

He kissed my knuckles and smiled up at me, "She might have mentioned something about that. We did talk about a lot of things."

I smoothed my fingers down his cheek, "That's good."

"Thank you Abby." He had a shy smile on his face now, "Before I met you, I could not stay calm when speaking of the inequities between myself and Thor; I have been able, in recent days, to talk to both my brother and my mother about how I felt without becoming hostile."

I felt my throat tighten with emotion, "You are most welcome my love; though I do not know that I helped over much."

"Oh but you have." He pulled me closer and I settled into his arms, "Your trust and compassion, your care and your love have meant so much to me Abby, I feel like a better man because of you."

I was so touched I couldn't speak; to know that what I had done had helped him so much was nearly overwhelming. He wiped a tear from my cheek and I could feel his concern.

"My love, are you okay?"

"Yes Loki," I smiled at him, "I am just…so touched by your words."

"These are tears of joy?"

"Oh yes." I chuckled a bit through my tears, "How could they be anything else?"

We lay in each other's arms until dinner time; sometimes talking, others just enjoying being together. I wondered if anyone would have believed Loki so capable of such love and contentment. I felt him slip his hand under my shirt and moved closer to him, some days he was still so incredibly vulnerable that it my heart ache.

~A~A~A~A~A~A~A~

_Dear Diary,_

_Loki has recovered from the fall and is back to exercising, I'm not sure he should be but well, it's so important to him that I can't deny him. It's been ten days since he was released from his punishment and the progress he has made is astonishing. His back is completely healed and except for a few faint white lines that are only visible in the right lighting, you'd never know he was whipped within an inch of his sanity. I can tell by the way his clothes fit that he definitely lost weight during the time he was muted, but that seems to be changing now that we are eating together and he's started working out again. I worry daily about the time when he no longer needs me by his side. I have requested a private audience with Odin to formally request what Midgardians would call "asylum", I'm not sure what it's called here but I want to stay and I want to know that I'll be safe should S.H.I.E.L.D. decide they don't want to let me leave. I've started drafting my resignation letter which I'm not sure how or when I'll give it to Fury, but I know he won't be happy._

I sat up and rubbed my lower back. There was a knock at the door and sighed. I walked over and opened the door and a guard stood there.

"Lady Larsen, the Allfather requests your presence." He was very formal and I nodded.

"Let me inform the prince, I'll be with you shortly." I walked to the bedroom where Loki was stretching as he did halfway through his exercises, "Loki, your father has asked to see me, I'll be back later okay?"

He paused and looked at me, "Why?"

"I'm not sure." I answered, "I had asked to see him, so that's probably why."

"Alright." He smiled, walking over and kissing me, "I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too love." I kissed him again quickly and went to have my meeting with Odin.


	22. Taking the Next Step

**A/N: Thank you all for being patient, my Muse decided she wanted to work on Broken and then tease the start/end of Broken No More so this one got put on hold. Now it's stalled a bit, this is the last chapter I have completed and I'm not sure when I'll have chapter 23 ready but I am working on it, I promise. Yeah um...also, SMUT WARNING! If you don't like smut...um...don't read the end of the chapter! LOL I put a line where the smut starts so yeah...if you don't like smut then only read to the line...**

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I trembled a bit as I approached the Allfather; I knelt before him and waited for him to speak. The seconds seemed to take forever to tick.

"Rise Abigail." He said and I tried not to wrinkle my nose at the use of my formal name. "You requested an official audience, why?"

I kept my eyes on the floor, "Because Allfather, I wish to make a formal request and did not feel it would appropriate to ask in an informal setting."

"Look at me my child." His voice was friendly.

I raised my eyes and the King of Asgard was smiling, which I was hoping was a good sign.

"What do you wish to ask of me?"

"I wish to formally ask for asylum." I said, "I have decided to resign from S.H.I.E.L.D. However, I know they will not "release" an "asset" such as myself easily and I want to know I will have a safe haven should I need it." I took a deep breath, "I don't want to leave Allfather, I will outlive all of my friends and colleagues my many years and I wish to be with those I have come to care deeply for."

Odin nodded at me, I could see him thinking over what I had said.

"You ask for a great deal Abigail Larsen, it is right that you ask in such a formal setting." He sighed, "I will need time to think on what you have asked. I do not want to disturb the peace between our realms, however, you are as kin to me and that must stand for something. Give me a fortnight and you shall have your answer."

I bowed deeply, "Thank you Allfather."

"Now, come closer and speak to me of my son."

I walked up the stairs and he motioned to a pillow by the throne. I sat and laid my head against his knee like I used when I would sit with my grandmother.

"He is well Odin." I slipped back into the more informal speech he allowed me. "He did have a small setback the other day, but he is recovered and getting stronger each day."

"I am glad to hear this." Odin sounded relieved, "Speak not of this to others, but that punishment was nearly as hard for me to endure as it was Loki."

"You have my confidence grandfather." I whispered and felt him stroke my hair.

"You have been so good for my family Abigail, each of us has found great comfort in your presence here. My wife tells me that Loki has never seemed to so calm." Odin seemed happy about this, "I wish I were able to see him, we have much to discuss."

"I understand." I smiled, feeling so at home in Odin's company, "The acceptance of your family and your people has helped me greatly as well."

"I know." He patted my head and I could tell he was smiling. "I am sure Loki is curious about our talk and lunch will be served soon."

"Ah, yes, I missed lunch other day, I probably shouldn't make a habit of that." I chuckled, "With your leave grandfather, I will return to Loki."

"It is given my dear." I stood and smiled at Odin, he shook my hand and I left the throne room.

~A~A~A~A~A~A~A~

Loki was shirtless and sitting in the living room when I returned and for a moment my feet refused to move. He looked incredible. He was sitting with his head turned towards the window and it was clear he was in deep thought. I closed the door softly and it drew his attention. He smiled at me and held out his hand, as he often did when he wanted me close. I walked closer and took his hand, but didn't allow him to draw me into his lap.

"Loki, we need to talk." I sighed, "I had an important conversation with your father today and well, you deserve to know what it was because it will affect you as much as it will affect me."

I could see the fear in his eyes a moment before he hid it with confusion and a bit of pain. "I understand."

"No, I don't think you do my love." I drew him to his feet and over to the couch. "I requested formal audience with Odin a few days ago." I stood and walked to the desk where my letter of resignation was sitting and walked back, "He saw me this morning as you know."

"I do." He looked worried, "Abby, is everything okay?"

"I hope so Loki." I sighed, "I asked your father for formal asylum today."

The look of shock and the overwhelming feeling of confusion nearly knocked me off my feet as I sat back down on the couch next to Loki. I handed him the letter and let him read it. His confusion grew as he read the letter and I saw his face reflect his soul deep confusion.

"You are…resigning from S.H.I.E.L.D." It was half a statement and half a question, "Why?"

"Because, I don't belong there anymore." I kept my voice soft, watching his face, "I hope…that I belong here."

Loki's face turned to mine, "Why would you not my love?" he set the letter down and took my hand, "I would have you by my side for as long as you wish to be here."

I tightened my grip on his hand, "Odin has asked me to give him a fortnight to come to a decision, he regards me as kin, but does not wish to cause problems between our realms." I hung my head a bit, "I know that S.H.I.E.L.D. will not want to let me go lightly, my gifts are rare and not many with them would work for S.H.I.E.L.D."

"Why would Odin regard you as kin?" the confusion was back in his face.

"Because, he knew a kinswoman of mine long ago." I sighed, "She was a great warrior, much like Sif."

"During the Frost Giant wars?" Loki asked and I knew this time was painful for him to talk about.

"Yes my love." I held his hand and looked into his eyes, "She was not afraid of them, nor was she scared to fight with your father and the Asgardians against them. She nearly died, many times, but her bravery so impressed Odin that when the Giants had been defeated he returned to Midgard."

"And bestowed upon this warrior the gifts of knowledge and longevity," Loki whispered, "Odin told us this story as children."

"The gifts would be passed to the daughter she carried within her and every first born daughter until her bloodline no longer exists." I continued, watching Loki's eyes widen, "I am one of those daughters."

"Abigail, do you know what this means?" his face was full of shock but then unbelieving joy as well.

"I will not die in a few short decades." I whispered, finding myself more comfortable speaking in the same way as the Asgardians, "That I have centuries to live."

"Oh Abby," he smiled broadly, "I thought we had but one short lifetime together, to know we may have centuries? You could not have made me happier my love."

He kissed me then, drew me into his arms and settled me across his lap. I kissed him back, feeling him tilt his head back so that I had control again. The lust that was growing between us was incredible and I knew that soon we would have to move beyond the kissing, the teasing touches of less intimate areas or we would both go mad. I slid my hand down his chest and stomach but he grabbed my hand and stopped its progress at about his navel. I could feel the muscles clenching as he strained against the movement his body wanted to make.

"No my love," he pulled his lips from mine, "We need not rush this."

I leaned back a bit surprised, the first night we kissed he has seemed ready to take me where he laid and now when he could have me, he was hesitating. I nodded and slid my hand to his side and lay my head on his shoulder, gently kissing his neck.

Lunch came and we ate slowly, occasionally feeding each other and sharing soft kisses. I wished we could stay in this bubble forever, but I knew that soon he would be well enough to leave his quarters and then I would have to return to Earth, provided Odin hadn't come to decision yet.

That night as we cuddled in bed I felt Loki's hand on my stomach and trembled, he ran his fingers along the waist band of my pants and I could feel the conflict in his mind.

"Loki?" I shivered in his arms and he pulled me closer.

"Yes my love."

"Do you not desire me?" I asked, feeling suddenly self-conscious.

"Why would you ask that my love?" he moved so he could see my face and I could see his confusion plain on his face, "You know I do my love, can you not feel it?"

"I am so muddled when I comes to you, I know not which are my feelings and which are yours." I sighed, conflicted, "I think you do; you kiss me so passionately yet will not let it go any further than that."

"Abigail," he sighed, "my sweet, loving Abby, I love you and I desire you so much I am in agony, but I…oh Abby."

"What's wrong my love?" I reached up and stroked his cheek.

"I do not want to disappoint you." He whispered and I gasped in shock.

"Disappoint me?" I tried to search his face for some hint of what he meant but I couldn't find it.

"I am…" he sighed, "I am not as experienced as some men."

"I do not want some men." I whispered, "I want you my love."

"But, what if I cannot please you?"

"You are a god, how could you not?"

"What if I hurt you?" he whispered, "I have never been with a mortal woman before, I do not know how much you could take."

"Try." I whispered, "Start softly and I'll let you know what I need."

* * *

He kissed me tenderly and I felt his hand slip under the waistband of my pants.

"You promise you'll tell me if it hurts?"

"Yes." I whispered, pulling him down for a kiss as I opened my legs for him.

He was trembling as I kissed him and I felt my back arch when he cupped my sex. He stopped for a moment and I licked his lips. So softly I wanted to weep from joy he pressed his finger between my lips and I felt him moan.

"So slick." He whispered against my mouth and I sighed as he slowly ran his finger along my slit.

"More." I whispered feeling him just graze my clit, "Right there, more."

He settled his finger against it and pressed a bit harder, stroking and circling. I moaned loudly at the delicious friction and my eyes fluttered closed. I gasped his name as he pressed a bit harder and nibbled my neck.

"Oh yes Loki…just like…that…that's…perfect." I was gasping the words through my pleasure.

"So beautiful." He whispered while nipping my earlobe, "So hot and wet."

"Only…for…you…my love." I couldn't stop gasping and moaning, the feelings were becoming too much.

With one firm roll of my hips against his questing fingers I felt myself shatter into a million pieces. Pleasure like I had never experienced slammed into my body and my back arched hard I screamed in ecstasy. My hip undulated against his fingers and I cried out his name and fisted my hands in the sheets.

I lay in his arms, shaking with pleasure and forced myself to open my eyes; there was astonishment on his face. His fingers were still between my legs but he wasn't moving them. I drew him down for a kiss and gently rolled my hips, making myself shiver.

"You…are…incredible my love." I whispered against his lips, "Never have I experienced pleasure like that. You are truly a god."

He smiled down at me, "You mean that my love?"

"Every word." I smiled.

"I have never had a woman react to my touch like you did." His face flushed with colour, "Most only wanted to be with me because I am a prince and they thought they could improve their standing."

"They are fools."

"Why do you wish to be with me?"

"Because I love you."

"That I am so small does not bother you?"

"You have great strength Loki, size is not everything." I smiled as my eyes drifted lower, "Although, I'd say in some areas you are _not_ by any stretch of the imagination small."

"You…think so?" he seemed unsure.

I slowly pushed him back onto the bed and ran my fingers down his chest and stomach. He was shaking and I could feel his fear.

"Let me see you?" I whispered, running my fingertips around his navel, "Let me…please you?"

His eyes were a mixture of lust and fear but he nodded. I grasped the waist of his pants and started to lower them, careful to lift them over his erection. Touching me had obviously turned him on but I kept my eyes on his face as I drew the pants down his legs. Slowly I let my gaze drift down his body, appreciating the lean muscle in his chest and abs. My eyes widen when I got to his cock.

"Oh…my…god…" the words left my mouth before I realized it, but they were reverent.

"Abigail?"

I turned my stunned gaze to his face and let him see the admiration and lust in my eyes.

"You are perfect my love."

I stretched my hand out and gently grasped him; he moaned as I wrapped my hand around him and I realized I couldn't full get my hand around. I shivered as I thought of him filling me and slowly drew my hand up and then back down him. His head slammed back into the pillow on a moan and I repeated my movement.

"Abby…" his voice shook, "please…do not…tease me."

"Never my love," I smiled, "I am just getting used to you."

I made my grip a bit firmer and stroked faster, this seemed to be what he wanted because as I moved down he started rocking his hips up to meet my fist. He was panting and his eyes were clenched shut. His head was arched back and I leaned up to nibble his neck, never breaking pace. He groaned my name and I felt him starting to tremble.

"Let it go my love," I whispered in his ear, "let me please you."

"Oh…oh my Abby." He groaned and I felt him stiffen and then pulse in my hand, "Abby."

I kissed him tenderly as I slowed my movements and let him ride out his pleasure. He was cooler than most men, but I figured that was due to him being a Frost Giant. His chest heaved as I pulled back from the kiss and there was a look of shock and almost awe on his face.

"Abby, no one has ever done that for me." he whispered, "No one has ever wanted to touch me like that."

I kissed him softly and tucked a lock of hair behind his ear, "I do. I will. And if you want, I will do so much more my love."

"I do." He kissed me again and sighed, "I fear I have made a mess."

I smiled and lifted my hand which had some of him on it. I watched his face as I put my finger in my mouth and licked it clean. Dear gods I had never tasted anything better; he was almost too sweet but there was a bit of saltiness to him as well and I'm sure I moaned. I saw his eyes widen and continued to clean my hand. When I was done he was in shock.

"Do all…Midgardian women do this?" he asked, pointing at my hand.

"No." I smiled, "And, I have never done so before."

"Why not?"

"I never wanted to." I smiled, "But you are special and I have wanted to taste you for weeks."

Loki shivered, "Such words."

I moved so my lips near his ear, "if you would allow it, my love, my king, I would you take you in my mouth and please you that way as well."

The moan that my words drew from his lips lit my blood on fire. He held me close and I placed my hand on his heart.

"Not tonight sweet Abby, but soon perhaps."

"Whenever you wish my love," I rubbed my fingers against his chest and smiled as he shivered.

"Perhaps, since we are both…sweaty…we could bathe?"

I stood and led him to the bathroom, I had a feeling this would be a good night.


End file.
